It's Sad to Eat Pie Alone

Eight

Cas stared at Charlie for a moment.

"What? Of course I'm not, we're both men," Cas said, looking confused.

"Have you never heard of gay people? Cas, you're head-over-heels for this guy," Charlie said.

"But- but- I can't be gay..." Cas said. Charlie smiled at him until she noticed the legitimate fear in his eyes.

"Cas, there's nothing wrong with being gay. I'm gay," Charlie told him.

"My sister is going to kill me... Are you sure?" Cas asked, rubbing his shoulder.

"Am I sure I'm gay? Yeah, pretty darn," Charlie said.

"No, are you sure I'm gay?" Cas clarified.

"Well, what do you think? Do you think you're in love  with Dean?" Charlie asked. Cas thought for a moment.

"Maybe I am... I don't know," Cas told her.

"Well, next time you see him, figure it out! And tell me immediately afterwards, please," Charlie said. Cas nodded slowly. They continued talking about this and that for a while, but Cas was distracted, thinking about Dean.

***

Cas didn't see Dean again until Sunday night. He was sitting on his bed reading when Dean came in. Cas stiffened slightly.

"Hey, Novak," Dean said, flopping onto his bed.

"Dean," Cas acknowledged. He watched Dean, taking in his short blond hair and his sparkling green eyes. Am I in love with him?  Dean looked up at him and caught him staring.

"You okay, Novak?" he asked. Cas jumped.

"Yes, I- sorry," he stuttered, blushing. Dean raised his eyebrow. Cas went back to his reading, sneaking glances at Dean from time to time.

Cas still wasn't sure how he felt about Dean till the next day, when he was roped into lunch with Dean, Lisa, and Benny. Dean and Lisa were holding hands the whole time, and Cas could no longer deny that the feeling he had was jealousy. He pulled out his phone and texted Charlie.

I'm starting to think maybe you were right.

She didn't reply, so Cas just put his phone back in his pocket and tried not to look at Dean and Lisa, but after a few seconds, Charlie raced up to him and hugged Cas. He tensed up, startled.

"I knew it!" Charlie exclaimed as everyone else at the table watched them.

"Charlie, please let me go," Cas muttered, blushing. Charlie let him go.

"Am I missing something here?" Dean asked, his eyebrow raised. Charlie just smiled at him.

"Come on, Cas, let's go," Charlie said, dragging Cas out of his seat. When they were alone, she wheeled him around.

"Cas! I'm proud of you!" she exclaimed, grinning.

"I... Don't understand why," Cas said, confused.

"You admitted you were gay! You like Dean! Aw, my little cupcake," Charlie said.

"I don't believe I am your cupcake, Charlie," Cas said. Charlie laughed.

"Oh, you are just to precious," she said.

"You're making me uncomfortable," Cas told her.

"Sorry, I'm probably enjoying this more than I should be," Charlie said. They talked for a while longer, then went their separate ways.

***

The air conditioning broke the very next day. It was starting to get cooler outside, but it was still pretty hot, especially in the dorms. Cas was reading in his closet with his desk fan on and his shirt off, and Dean was off doing something else, probably hanging out with Lisa. Cas heard his phone buzz from out on his desk and stepped out of the closet and over to his desk. He looked at the text and saw it was from Charlie, but before he could respond, he heard the sound of their door closing and Dean's voice came from behind him.

"Oh my god, Cas, what happened to you?" Cas whirled around, his eyes wide and panicked. Dean had seen. Oh god, Dean had seen.

"Why do you have scars on your back?" Dean asked. Cas grabbed a shirt and practically ran past Dean and out the door as he put it on.

"Cas, wait!" Dean exclaimed, but Cas broke into a run. When he was hiding under a tree far away next to the library, he called Charlie.

"Hello, my beautiful rainbow cupcake," Charlie said when she answered the phone.

"Can I talk to you in person? Please?" Cas begged.

"Cas, what's wrong? Did something happen?" Charlie asked.

"Just meet me outside the library, please," Cas said, and he hung up. It didn't take Charlie long to show up. She looked really concerned.

"Cas, what's going on?" She asked. Cas took a big breath.

"I... I don't want to have to dump this on you, but I don't have anyone else to talk to..." Cas said reluctantly.

"Cas, you can tell me anything. We're cool," Charlie replied. So Cas told her everything. He even showed her the giant ugly scars on his back.

"Oh my god, Cas..." She said when he'd finished.

"And Dean saw, and now everything's going to change. Dean's going to look at me differently," Cas babbled.

"It's going to be fine, Cas," Charlie told him. They sat under that tree for several hours, sometimes talking, sometimes not, until Cas worked up the bravery to move from the shadows.