It's Sad to Eat Pie Alone

Fourteen

Cas didn't leave his room that day, although Dean did several times. It wasn't until Monday that Charlie saw Cas and Cas told her the story. She was even more surprised than Dean was, but for different reasons.

"But you're gay. Unless you're bi. Are you bi?" She asked him.

"You honestly think I know?" Cas retorted. Charlie shrugged.

"Okay, but bi or not, I thought you were in love with Dean?" She said.

"I am. I don't know why I slept with her, I just did," Cas replied.

"What did Dean think?" Charlie asked.

"He was almost as surprised as you. I don't understand why people are so surprised," Cas said.

"Because it's you. You're awkward and quiet, and you're not good at talking to people. No one ever really thought some girl would just walk up to you and take you home," Charlie said. Cas shrugged.

"I guess you're right..." He conceded.

"So how are you? You don't look so great..." Charlie asked him.

"I'm fine. My leg hurts, and my ribs hurt, and my face hurts, but it's not that bad," Cas replied. Charlie raised an eyebrow.

"Really, Charlie, I'm fine," Cas repeated.

"Whatever you say, Cas. I've got a class to go to. I'll see you later, my rainbow cupcake," she said, grabbing her bag and leaving.

***

The next month pass fairly uneventfully. Cas' bruises slowly faded as the days got colder and colder and Thanksgiving got closer. The weekend before Thanksgiving week, Dean was all packed up and ready to go home.

"You sure you don't need a ride home, Novak?" Dean asked.

"No, Dean. I'm not going home. Thank you for the offer, though," Cas told him. Dean shrugged.

"Alright. I'll see you in a week then, Novak," Dean said, giving him a smile and walking out the door.

***

Cas spent Thanksgiving alone in his room, reading, and he was very glad when Dean got back and classes resumed. Cas had been desperately hoping that his attraction to Dean would go away over time, but it only seemed to be getting stronger. But there was something off about Dean his first few days back. He was acting like he normally did, but a little too much. Like he was forcing it. Cas kept wanting to ask him if something was wrong, but he could never quite work up the courage. Cas also noticed that Dean seemed to be... Staring at him. He would glance up from whatever he was reading to see Dean quickly look away. It confused Cas to no end, until one Saturday, Dean burst to their room and grabbed Cas' arm, dragging him out of his bed.

"Dean, what are you doing?" Cas asked.

"Come with me!" Dean exclaimed, dragging Cas out the door and down the stairs. Cas pulled away from Dean's grip but followed him out to his car and got in. Dean started driving out towards the mountain, not saying a word. Cas was slightly worried, but he didn't say anything.

After a while, Dean pulled into a small area just off the road where the trees cleared and you could see the city below. He got out of the car and took a few steps forward to sit on the grass in front of it. Cas followed, sitting down next to Dean.

"Did something happen, Dean?" Cas asked him.

"Lisa broke up with me," Dean replied after a small pause.

"Oh... I'm sorry. Why would she do that?" Cas asked quietly, shivering slightly at the cold air.

"It... It doesn't matter. Are you cold?" Dean asked.

"A little. You didn't give me much time to get a jacket," Cas said, rubbing his arms.

"Oh. Sorry. Here, take mine," Dean said, pulling off his leather jacket and handing it to Cas.

"Are you sure?" Cas asked.

"Yeah, take it. I don't need it that much anyway," Dean said, shrugging. Cas took the jacket and put it on, hugging it around himself.

"Thanks, Dean. I'm sorry about Lisa," he said.

"You said that already," Dean told him, smiling slightly.

"Well I mean it," Cas said, leaning back on his hands. Dean looked out over the city, leaning back also. Dean's hand landed on Cas' and Cas pulled away like he'd been shot. Dean looked around at him.

"Are you okay?" He asked. Cas nodded.

"I'm fine... You just... Startled me," he replied. He wrapped his arms around his knees and they sat there in silence for several more moments.

"Why do you talk to me, Dean?" Cas asked suddenly.

"What do you mean?" Dean asked, giving him a confused look.

"Well I'm not cool or outgoing. I'm not good at talking to people, and I'm awkward. Im useless. I'm not anything like you, Dean. Why would you make any effort to include me and be my friend?" Cas didn't make eye contact with Dean.

"Useless? Why would you say that? You're not useless, Cas," Dean said, putting his hand on Cas' shoulder. Cas looked around at him.

"Then what exactly is my purpose?" Cas asked, staring Dean straight in the eyes now. Dean looked away.

"You're my friend. I... I need you, Cas," he said, the last part barely above a whisper. Cas felt his heart melt. Dean let out a shiver.

"Damn, it is cold up here, isn't it?" He said, filling the silence. Cas took off the jacket and handed it back to Dean.

"Here. I don't need it anymore. I don't think I'll ever be cold again, as long as you're here," he said. Dean took the jacket, looking up at Cas.

"Well that sounded really romantic..." He said. Cas blushed, looking away.

"I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable, Dean. You probably need to be alone right now. I'll wait in the car," he said, standing up. Dean shot up too.

"No! I mean, if I'd wanted to be alone I wouldn't have dragged you out here," he said.

"But why would you want to be with me? Why not Benny, or Macloude?" Cas asked. Dean sighed, and after a moment of silence, he spoke.

"Oh, screw it." And before Cas knew it, Dean was kissing him.