Hopeful Soul: A Phantom Story

Chapter Four.

ERIK:

She would accept me in my human form? Everything in me wanted to believe her and have that to fondly think of, but I knew she wouldn't accept me as a human. Maybe with my mask that did well hiding my ugliness, but even then that was too much hope for her.

I ventured through the catacombs towards my home, feeling that a little practicing would calm me down, until I heard great footsteps above me. Only one person I knew would be so bold as to come down here in the evening - or at all, for that matter. Then I saw him, stalking down the stairs, obviously blind - he was a foot from thudding into me, "Stop, daroga."

He did as I said to, folding his arms. I stared at his black astrakhan hat for a moment, then diverted my eyes to his. He would definitely see the piercing, yellow orbs in this light, "What have you come for, this time?"

"I just came to check on you, my friend. I wanted to make sure you were doing alright."

I shook my head, "Come, then. I was just about to head home."

The daroga stayed by my side as we traveled across the rivers edge towards my little house on the lake. I thrust the skeleton key from my pocket and tumbled the locks, letting the daroga inside first. Once indoors, I put the key on a brass hook and closed the door behind me just as the daroga found comfort on a loveseat in the red room. I sank into my armchair that rested beside the black fireplace, Ayesha jumping up into my lap, "Tea, daroga? The samovar is on the fireplace."

"No, Erik. No, thank you. And please, just call me Nadir."

"You know perfectly well I can't do that."

"I apologize."

Long silences were dominant in every one of our conversations. We really had nothing to speak about, which made me curious as to why he was truly here. Ayesha began to purr into my nonexistent stomach, so I gently ran my fingers through her fur. I stared at the joints of my fingers, then glanced through the archway to my right at my pipe organ that seemed to call to me. Nadir cleared his throat and I turned my attention to him once again, "I suppose you are wondering about my true purpose here."

"Yes. Enlighten me, Monsieur Khan."

"Well," he glanced down at Ayesha, then took a deep breath in, "I heard from Madame Giry that you're giving lessons to the Daaé girl."

"That is a private matter, daroga, and I would rather not discuss-"

"Let me explain," I decided against my judgment to listen, "I do not care if you give the girl lessons. It is actually good for you to have an outlet for your talent. But, Erik. I worry about what will happen to her if she disobeys your commands."

"What are you getting at, daroga?"

"Well," he became uneasy - I could practically feel his tensions, "I overheard a few things from your lesson with her today. It was something about faithfulness. Now, Erik, she is just a girl. She may be of age, but she will eventually have suitors."

"And you act like I don't know that?"

"No, no. Of course you know. I just want to make sure nothing happens to her. Remember the last time you were overbearing?"

"Oh, daroga, please. This is much different."

"Erik, what you did in Persia was unacceptable!"

"Daroga, I am fully aware! But that was different. You know they would have killed me if I didn't do it."

My old acquaintance became calm, realizing finally the truth about that encounter, "I know that your purge was self-defense. But this is much different. She is young and impressionable. I just don't want her to get hurt."

It wasn't like the daroga to care about someone he barely knew. This was either a message from someone else or him trying to soothe someone's worries, "Who are you talking to, daroga?"

"Madame Giry. She wanted to make sure Christine would be safe."

"And she has nothing to worry about. You know I would never harm a lady."

Nadir nodded and removed the black cap from his head to reveal a small bald spot. I also removed my fedora, "Keep her safe, Erik. Do no harm. And please, whatever you do, keep the Punjab lasso hanging."

He feared I might kill someone again, but that was long ago. I haven't laid a finger on anyone in ten years, mostly due to my work on Don Juan. There was no reason to kill, but to protect Christine, as he said, "You aren't obsessed, are you?"

"Oh no. She's just a girl, daroga. Since when have I lost my head over a woman."

"I can count that on one hand. But how do you feel about her?"

I have never taken enough time to think about it, "Well, she is my protégé, daroga. I hope to put her on my stage. I hope to give her a good name."

"Have you never stopped to consider why, exactly, you have a bedroom decorated for a lady?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Or why you have a whole wardrobe filled with female garments?"

"You're trying me, daroga!"

"Come. I want you to see this."

I followed the daroga out of the red room and into the hall, Ayesha still purring now in my arms. Beside my bedroom was another door and when we stepped inside, what he described came to vision. But why? When did I do this?

"Erik, last week, you were a mess.  Every night I would come down here and see you in this very room. You were decorating it and I assumed you could only be in some sort of drunken state."

"What gives you that idea?"

"Perhaps the five empty wine bottles in the corner of the room. It was very odd. You kept saying 'For you, my dear.'"

"How did I get the wardrobe in here?"

"You made everything, Erik. I don't know how or why, but you did. Now, are you sure you aren't obsessed?"

"I am not obsessed, daroga!"

I recalled the feeling that I had looking into her eyes. There was a surge a warmth - warmth I did not recognize. I must have drank my sorrows away. I probably tried getting rid of the feeling only to have this happen, "But there was something," I looked down at the daroga just as I lit a candle on the side of the door, "I felt warmth looking into her eyes. The warmth was based in my stomach. I don't know what it is was, but I knew I had to discover her. I had to know more about her."

Nadir nodded, placing the astrakhan hat back onto his head. He leaned against the wall, a soft smile on his face, "I believe the frightening Erik Destler is in love."

"In love? Daroga, are you hearing yourself correctly?"

"Your warmth, Erik. It's the only possible explanation."

I shook my head in suspicion. It could not be. Even if Erik did love Christine, Christine could never love Erik back. And since it was the case, Erik would have a broken heart... I couldn't let that happen, "If it is the only explanation, what should Erik do?"

The daroga shook his head, "Erik should learn to face his fears," with a soft bow, he resigned, " Good luck, my friend. I hope you keep calm."