I'm Not The Girl You Used To Know

Chapter 5: Old Sparks

(Ethan POV)

When Brian told me that Linda would stay with us for college, I was excited actually. I'd known her forever. She was sweet, funny, and caring. That was why I loved her. Yeah, I said it, I loved her since I was 16.

I even told Brian about it, but he said that she was off limit. So, I didn't make any move.

When I found out that their parents got divorced, I was shocked. They looked very happy for each other. That was when Brian told me everything after their parents signed the divorce paper. He came to my place one night and was surprised hearing the news.

He told me about their parents fight that had been happening for years. He even told me that Linda was shipped to boarding school. That made my heart broke. I would never see her again.

We were in the same college, so I was the one who was always beside him. I knew that Linda had been writing to him, but he never replied to any of them. He said that he didn't know what he wanted to say to her because she told him about how she missed their parents and her days at boarding school.

From the letters, I knew Linda was miserable and had nobody to talk to. I always pushed Brian to write back to her, but he was so stubborn and I just let him.  After a year, Linda stopped writing. I guessed she was tired waiting for her brother to reply.

Brian noticed it and he felt guilty about it. That year, for the first time, he started sent her Christmas cards. But she never replied to them either. Brian didn't care and kept sending it every year until he heard from his dad that Linda was accepted to college two blocks from we lived.

Brian then talked to his dad about her staying with us while she was here.  I guessed he did to make it up with Linda after these years.

Brian talked about her non stop since he heard she was coming here. He really loved his sister and so was I. Since I knew I was in love with her, I never set eyes on other girls, even when she was gone to boarding school. Brian even mocked me being single and not trying to have girlfriends though I was already 25. Of course I didnt tell him the real reason. He would kill me.

The last time I dated was when I was 16. I was dating Sally, my classmate. We dated when we were 14. She was my first too. I broke up with her when I found out that she was only using me because I was popular plus he was cheating on me with one of my football guy.

I was broken when I found out about it. I remembered I went to Brian's to tell him what happened. But turned out that he wasn't home and there was only Linda in the house. She saw my angered face and asked me what was wrong.

I told her it was nothing and I turned my heels to leave. She called out my name but I kept walking away. Then she grabbed my hand and I felt sparks. Suddenly I forgot my anger and Sally. She asked me to come inside so I did.

She led me to the kitchen. She asked me to sit down. I had no idea what she wanted me to do and I realized that she made me a cup of hot chocolate. She placed it in front of me and smiled.

"Hot chocolate makes you feel better when you're sad or angry"

I remembered she said to me with her sweet pure voice filled with innocence. I smiled to her and took a sip of the drink. It was delicious. The best hot chocolate I had in my life.

She put her hand on mine and asked me what happened. I told her everything. How I thought I was in love with Sally and she was the one for me. She listened everything with her hands still locked in me.

When I finished I felt a tear in my eye and she wiped it gently with her hand. I looked at her eyes and I realized how beautiful she was even though she was only 10. From that moment I knew I loved her.

She then led me to the living room to watch some movies to cheer me up. We watched until she felt asleep beside me. I put a blanket on her and watched her angel face. It was one of the best day in my life. 

I still loved her until now. When I saw her the first time she got here, I still amazed by her beauty. Her dark hair was longer and her body showed more curves. But something was different. Her eyes didn't glow like she used to. There was no smiling on her face. Her expression was flat.

I was surprised by the way she talked back to her brother. She used to reply with jokes that made me laugh. But now, nothing. She just replied shortly and it was clear that she wanted to avoid me and Brian.

When she headed to her room, Brian grumbled and put his hands to his face. He was stressed out by her attitude.

"Did you see what I mean, right?", he sighed. "She's avoiding me"

I put my arms on his shoulder. "Maybe she hasn't used to be with you. I mean, you guys were separated for 5 years. She'll come around", I tried to comfort him.

"Yeah, you're right, man. Thanks", he smiled.

"Anything for you, dude", I smiled back.

Honestly, I didn't know for sure that Linda would come around. From the way she talked, I knew for instant that she'd changed. She was not the same girl anymore. But I didn't tell my thoughts to Brian. I needed to asure him that her sister was still the same.

But after the incident today, I realized that Linda was changed upside down. She said the reason why she changed. She said it was because of her parents, but mostly because of her brother. About he didn't write back to her and only sent christmas cards every year.

She was all alone and no one was there for her. She decided to change to release the pain. I was hurt that she'd changed become this person.

Brian was heartbroken, blaming himself that he caused all of these. He wished if he could turn back time, he would be there for her.

After Linda left the kitchen, I stayed with Brian who were in tears. He couldn't believe that his lovely sister had change into a stranger.

I was sad too. But I didn't show it in front of Brian. I didn't want him to know that I still had feelings for her, though it'd been 10 years.

Before she got here, I'd had a mission to win her heart whether Brian liked it or not. But when I realized she'd changed, I knew it would be hard to make her fall in love with me, especially when she avoided me too.

I needed to break in her sheels and made her the old Linda again. Then I could make the move. But, it was easier said than done.