Part 25

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"Louis, get out," Niall mumbled, looking at me.

Louis looked to me, but his lip in worry, and started to speak," hey mate um you kn-"

"Don't. Make me repeat myself mate." venom dripping when he said mate." Get the fuck out."

Louis looked sadly and worriedly to me as he closed the door behind him. I turned my attention to Niall, whose gaze should not be broken. His darkened eyes had storms clouding them. His eyes were grey from how angry he was. I then regretted not wearing longer clothes.

It wasn't any protection if he was going to hit me

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It wasn't any protection if he was going to hit me. Oh well.

I brought one of my hands to his face, hovering it, not quite touching it, unsure. Niall slapped my hand away and pushed me. Hard. I fell on my bum, making a loud thump in the room. I started crawling backwards as Niall neared me, destroying everything in his way. Vases, tables, chairs, papers, everything went flying.

"The one person. The one person I fall for. I gave you my heart but like glass you dropped it. You're a worthless slut. Louis is my bandmate too. How do you expect me to work with him now."

I kept scooting backwards on the floor until I hit the wall, preventing me from moving. My legs were straight out. Niall walked up to me and crouched down, making his face level with mine. I tilted my head back, screwing my eyes shut tightly as he neared his face towards my neck/ear area. I held my breath.

Niall traced my neck with his fingers, stopped just at the base of my throat. He bit his lip and looked at me. I opened my eyes and raised my head forward, starting to apologize.

"I-I'm s-s-s-so sorry-y Niall. I d-didn-"

"Stop stuttering God damn it!"

I nodded, and brought my knees to my chest, wrapping my arms around them.

" I don't understand. How could you do this to me? Did I mean nothing to you. Was I just a toy?" He raised his hand and slapped me. I heard a crack, although I was sure nothing was broken.

I closed my eyes, waiting for him to do what he was next. "Are you scared? You should be you worthless whore. You're pathetic."

He stood up, towering over me. He roughly pulled me up, pinning me to the wall. He pressed his hands to my ribs. His full palms were painfully pressing into my sides.

"Niall, please....p-please s-stop." That earned me a punch to the gut. I was spitting blood.

"I said, stop stuttering."

I calmed myself a little, breathing heavily as Niall took the nearest chair and broke the leg off. He pulled the painting off the wall and broke it on his knee. I dared myself to get off the wall and walk up to him. I felt a fury of heat. I was pissed. I raised my hand and went to slap him. He gripped my wrist. I tried to step back, which only made him walk forward. He propelled himself with every step. He pushed my wrist into my chest. I sank into the wall.

He whispered in my ear, making sure to graze his lips on my ear. " you wanna try that again, sweetheart." I shook my head quickly.

"Get out you cunt. You worthless trash."

I quickly got up on my feet. I ran out of the room and went into the washroom. I took off my shirt and saw the two hand print bruises. I didn't put the shirt back on. It was stinging the bruises.I had a couple of bruises on my face from where Niall punched me. My bottom lip was swollen.

I got out my trusty old razor. God I haven't used it for years. Yelp, old habits prevail. His words danced around my head as  I made a cut for everything. Cut. One for Niall's heart. Cut. One for not loving Harry. Cut. One for the wrong choice. Cut. One for my cold grey eyes. Cut. Being worthless. And it just keeps going on and on.

I heard a loud banging on the door of the bathroom. It was Harry,"Open up Alex! Open this door or I'll break it down."

I reluctantly went to the door and opened, knowing Harry would totally break it down. He swiftly locked the door behind him as he came in. I sat on the toilet seat, waiting for Harry to get all pissed. He held a hand out. " show me your hands." He said softly.

I didn't move," show me your hands!" He said in a loud strained voice. But he wasn't angry. He had surprise tears trailing down his cheeks. He grabbed my hand and turned to the cuts. He crouched down in front of me, looking up to me. He took off his shirt, and ripped it in half, pressing them with enough pressure to stop the bleeding on my wrists.

"Next time you feel like this," he said,"Cut me." He held his pale wrists in front of me, as if I was taking him prisoner. No, I couldn't do that.

"Do you still feel pain, Alex?" I nodded. Niall's words got to me.

"The use me as your canvas." I burst into tears and hugged him. "I couldn't do that."

He said in a monotone voice," that's what you do to me when you cut your wrists."

He stood up, and left the bathroom, leaving me in my silence once more.

➖➖➖➖➖

After a legit hour, someone opened the door. My eyes caught the familiar blond hair. Niall. I stood up quickly and backed up into the corner, trying to leave as much space as possible in between us. I ended up tripping over the stool, or trash can, I wasn't bothered to look. I hit my head against the corner. I curled into a ball.

Niall put his hands in front of him. "I'm so so sorry Alex. So sorry. I don't know what I was thinking." He said softly as he walked up to me.

"Stand up please." I didn't move, fearing Niall.

He moved his hand, closer to my face. I used my forearms to block my face, protecting myself from Niall. I breathed quickly and heavily, my heart beat the speed of a hummingbird. When he didn't hit me, I slowly put my hands down.

I was shocked to see a tear slide down his eye. He sat down in front of me, and placed his hand on my cheek. I whimpered as he touched the swollen lip and the bruises on the face.

"Please don't hurt me Niall. I'm sorry," I choked out. He carefully kept eye contact as he turned over my wrists. He pressed his thumb on the cuts, gently rubbing them.

He pulled me up, and cried out looking at the handprint bruises. Tears streamed down his face. Without meaning to, he roughly sat me down on the closed toilet.

He kneeled into front of me, hugging my calves. He put his head in between my knees/legs.

"I'm so so sorry. Please, I-i don't know what came over. I could never hurt you. I can't believe I did."

I unknowingly put my hands through his hair. He stopped talking, and slapped a hand on his mouth to stop a moan. I quickly pulled my hands out of his hair. He grabbed my wrists, pushing my hands back into his hair. " keep moving your hands," he growled. Out of fear, I tugged a little on his hair.

" Niall, you're scaring me," I said as he got up and punched the wall. He kept punching until his knuckles were throbbing red.

His eyes softened, " I'm sorry. You'll always be my princess, even if I'm not your prince. I'm always waiting here for you, and only you."

He hesitantly opened his arms for a hug. I turned my head sharply. Fearing him. But then I saw him brake. I did this to him. The least I could give him is a hug. He whispered into my hair, hoping I couldn't hear. "If you only knew what Louis is going to do. If only."

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