Reviews [ON HOLD]

Don't Forget To Breathe

TITLE- Don't forget to breathe

AUTHOR- @Angelicdevil09

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                         RATINGS

Cover- According to me, the image you've put up as a cover is okay. But you need to mention the name of your book and author's name on it. And some magical effects. It would make it look a little professional.

3/5

PLOT- It took me like 5 hours to read and review your book. Since i'm not a Harry Potter fan, I had to search who is Serius . I ended up reading all the family background of every character you've mentioned.
The plot is actually interesting.

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So , the story starts from the birth of Serius in the Black family. I read your story thrice. And to be honest, the first 2 times, i didn't get some parts.

Here are some places you need to make an improvement-

1. The story is way too long to be put up in one chapter.
Divide it into two parts.

2. I still don't know why Bella killed Serius. I would love to know the reason of killing him.

3. Few places where you've forgotten to put comma.
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Hey amazing writer !
This story is great. I loved the way in which you've divided the whole story in seperate paragraphs. It looks so summarised and professional.

Your grammar was on point. Good job.

I was so surprised how perfectly you've introduced every character in the story ( except Bella) .

Inshort, this story is quite amazing.

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Reviewer - @navikaur373