Forget to Remember

It's Cold Outside

It's cold outside

But open is the window

Crossing out confinement

For I've nowhere to go

So I'll be covered by my

Big blanket and a sweater

Because it makes things peaceful

This cold and chilly weather.

But the darkness settles in

As I lay my head to rest

My heart beats rapidly

Confined within my chest

The heat within the thickened walls

Just makes my poor hands sweat

Cold hands come down with a smack

Forcing all regret

I live inside this little book

Which has saved my life

Each page filled with depression

And little bits of spite

The blame, it lays its hands

On my stiff poised spine

The fault it lays on one

The fault alone is mine

The walls are closing in

Not of imagination

I've done all I can do

Not to too much realization

The reason is one thing alone

And that one thing is them

I stand to give a solemn speech

Clearing all my phlegm

I said to her, "I don't want this

I want it all to end"

She said to me, "I've been through worse

Believe me you, my friend"

So on that day, the morning of

The one that followed past

I made the quick decision

It all happened so fast

I took pills, one after each

That soon would stop my heart

No thing would bring me back to life

There was no brand new start

I called the one with contact to

The one that I had sought

The one that I loved most

Was to be my last thought

So, when I woke, alive and well

I was not surprised

For I knew my fate alone

Had then been compromised

I knew this all would happen

I knew that'd I'd been saved

The truth beneath the lies

I'll take down to my grave

The one they lay the blame down on

Accused is wrongly so

For it is where I live it be

Trust it's quite the show

If my love, had not happened

One thing would only differ

I would be slightly older

And my death would have been quicker

They would have come home to find me

Laying down in bed

My heart no longer beating

For I would be dead

Confusion would start to rise

Deep within their thoughts

As to why I'd been this way

And they hadn't caught

They then would see all the hell

That they put me through

Open up their eyes and see

That it was never you

There were brief moments

When my heart was filled with naught but doubt

I longed to hear your voice

One I'd hate to live without

They did their dance and sang their song

And played their little game

They gave you what was never yours

They gave you all the blame

For now the truth lies in my heart

And that is where it stays

Before they find it out themselves

And find out all my plays

If I had felt that I would die

On that very night

My note to her and her alone

Would be filled with just spite

But part of me, must've known

That I would survive

So the truth has one place

To which I can confide

So all along, it was her

That made me feel this way

And hide the truth behind the door

Of my younger day

The one thing that held me back

Could only be fear

That she'd leave my father

And again he'd not be here

I know she'd look upon me

With truth of despise

Never forgetting, never regretting

The hate spilled from her eyes

August 10th be the night

On which my hands did shake

I felt the sorrow of my days

My life I tried to take

Heaviness filled my body

My arms and legs they shook

I crossed my heart and hoped to die

The darkness overtook

I acted in this moment

For one thing alone

The parents of misguided children

And the things condoned

This rests in what we cannot believe

'Cause it reflects on them

But would they see their error of ways

If one would try again?