Me, myself, and Shawn Mendes

Chapter 8// Bad...Feelings...

Emma's POV:

   It had been three months since Shawn and I's first kiss. Nothing special really had happened throughout those three months. We just had small beach dates, and days we would just chill out at each other's homes. Shawn had always been the most amazing boyfriend...until that one day he passed one of my boundaries. Social Media was something I didn't really interact with much because I've seen people get hate on it all and people have been hacked. I never really wanted that to happen to me so I've kept myself to a minimum of Instagram.

  That day Shawn really pushed my buttons with that one picture that was posted all over social media. Shawn knew that I didn't want our relationship public until I said it was okay, but he pushed me past my breaking  point and this was a pretty difficult part of our relationship.

  Shawn noticed that something was wrong, two days later that picture was posted. He had came to my house, and came looking for me. I heard footsteps rushing up the stairs. I had thought it was my mom or dad coming back to pick up something important for work, but my door flew open it was Shawn.

Shawn POV:

  The sight was horrible. Emma was on the floor covered in a huge, fluffy blanket. Tissue boxes scattered across the room, there was about five boxes. As I got closer, I saw the beautiful  face I truly loved. She was more pale then usual, eyes were puffy and red. I was worried the minute I walked in. I dropped to my knees, to help Emma. She smacked me away. It was weird because she never did that to me. She had looked me in the eyes. She was hurt, not physically but emotionally. The good boyfriend I was, I tried kissing her and picking her up, but she didn't kiss back nor did she grab around my neck like she usually did when I picked her. I put her on top of the bed. I knelt down and looked into her eyes, tears streamed down her face, she didn't dare to look me in the eye.

   "Babe, what's wrong?" I humbly asked.

   Those words caused one of the worst lash outs I've seen. Emma grabbed  her shoes and ran out. I heard the front door slam. There was a storm that day, the situation was horrible.

Emma POV:

   That was the day that I felt so stupid. I felt young and blind. I ran as far as I could. I hadn't gotten out of my room for the past two days besides for eating and the bathroom. My heart felt blocked by so many emotions. I couldn't love Shawn. He didn't respect me. It wasn't fair.

   I turned my head to see who was behind me and I saw Shawn running in the distance. My heart dropped, I turned into an alley and I tripped and fell. I never felt so broken down and hurt in my whole life. I sat all the way towards the end of the alley. I knew Shawn wouldn't find me there because it was dark and raining. As I began to calm down, my phone buzzed once,  then again, and again, I cried, I couldn't breathe.  Then--BAM-- the thunder clapped and the rain got harder. It felt like all of humanity was against me. Why was it? Why was it that when I try to be happy and I finally find someone to make me happy, the rest of the world turned against me? When I asked myself this question I saw Shawn at the opening of the alley. He was soaked, water dripping down his hair onto his face. He saw me cuddled in the corner of the alley and ran to me, because he knew I couldn't escape this time. He fell to his knees in front of me, he looked me in the eye. His eye showed worry. I began to sob.

   "Emma. Tell me what's going on. I love you so much, and I can't see you like this. What's causing all this babe? I've never seen you like this," he said this with tears welling up into his eyes.

  "You know what caused this? You did. You can never go one part of your life private right? You couldn't keep your damn, stupid love life hidden. You just had to tag me in that picture of you kissing me on the cheek. You just had to mention I was your girlfriend. Well guess what Shawn Peter Raul Mendes...you can get another girlfriend. Do you ever think about the people who love and care about you? I guess not," I said this with anger, but I was shaken by those last few words. Specifically, you can get another girlfriend. I looked up at his face. It showed hurt, sadness, and most importantly lost. He got up off his knees. He couldn't look at me. Tears streamed down his face. He turned away and began to walk.  A few steps away, he turned for a minute and said something.

   "I don't know what was so wrong of me to post something that showed the world how much I loved my girlfriend. One thing, if I knew it would hurt you this way, even though it shouldn't really, I wouldn't have posted it. Okay? I love you Emma, but apparently maybe we just weren't meant to be together after all," the words stabbed me. It felt like a knife jabbing me in back.

  I watched him walk slowly towards the entrence of the alley. I couldn't handle it. I wanted to be mad at him, but my love for him stopped me. I ran in front of him. He stopped. He looked at the floor. It was a depressing view. I got closer to him, he moved back. I was kinda hurt by that, but I understood why. I grabbed his chin and lifted it up. I looked into his beautiful brown eyes. I got closer to him this time and he didn't move back this time. It gave me relief. I wrapped my arms around his upper body and rested my head against his chest. It was cold. He wrapped his arms around my waist. It was the greatest feeling in the world. I lifted my head off his chest and he looked down at me and a tear of his fell on my forhead. I cleaned the rest of his tears with my sweater sleeve.

   "You wanna know why I was so upset about the picture?" I asked shivering. He shook his head no.

  "Because of this," I said pulling my phone out of my pocket. We walked over to the wall and sat on the cold floor. He grabbed my phone and looked at me worried. I looked over to my phone, and a single tear fell down my face.

   "Babe...Why didn't you tell me this was happening?" he asked.

  "Well I don't know, I felt like it was your fault this was happening, and part of me said be mad at him. I followed that part of me instead of the part that said let it go. I never knew falling in love with a famous person would bring along so much hate," I stated. I looked over at Shawn then the screen of my phone. notifications from Instagram blew up. Comment like :

Ur ugly..Shawn could do better.

Get a life. Get a makeover first and come back and see if u r worthy of Shawn.

You looked like a dumb, ugy hore.

Shawn looked me in the eye, he apologized and I apologized also. It felt so good to be back in good terms with him. We sat there in silence for five minutes. I looked over at him. He was looking up at the sky. I just realized it stopped raining. It was still dark because it was night time already.

   "What do we do now?" he asked. I looked at him and realized that he deserved a better apology. He still looked a little hurt. His eyes were still red and puffy. I crawled onto his lap. I cuddled into his chest, trying to find warmth and he hugged me back. I pulled away from his chest. He looked at me weirdly. I turn my body, so my whole body was facing him. I was now kind of straddled on his lap. He looked at me surprised and a little confused. I grabbed his cheeks and kissed him passionately. He wrapped his arms around my waste. As we continued kissing, I felt him nibbling on my lip. It made me moan slightly. As we toned down this kiss I looked at him and asked him if we could try another type of kiss. The kind you would find in all those fancy romance movie, the French kiss. He looked at me smirking. He grabbed my lower waist and brought me really close and began kissing me and he slowly put his tongue in my mouth. It was kinda awkward at first but then it just became romantic and sweet. I felt him biting down on my lip again as the kiss came to a wonderful end. We both got up, he grabbed my hand.

   "Emma I freaking love you and nothing can ever change that," He said as we walked out of the alley and back to my house for some hot chocolate.