Remember Me? //Tradley//

Is It Okay To Feel Broken?

I just couldn't take it any longer. I can't take this any longer.

"Shhh, we got you. Everything is alright. Everything will be okay. Everything is going to be okay." I heard a James say while rubbing my back with another hand which I think is Connor's.

"Everything is going to be okay." my younger friend said.

No it's not.

~~~~~
James P.O.V

After Tristan's breakdown, Con and I told him to take a seat on the chair.

He just sat there so emotionless looking at both of us.

His hair was messed up, his cheeks were all tear-stained because of his endless sobbing, and he says he slept but the dark circles under his eyes tell me otherwise.

So I know he was lying.

He looked so tired and just so broken.

With the silence that we been put through right now, I decided to step up to the plate and say something.

"Hey buddy, are you okay now?" I smiled hoping to get some type of reaction out of him.

Nothing. No response.

He just kept staring at us.

Now it was Connor's turn to say something.

"How are you feeling?" my boyfriend then asked.

Nothing again. No response again.

Just a couple moments later he finally said something.

"Is it okay to feel broken?" the blonde boy asked with the same emotionless tone in his voice.

Hearing that made my heart actually break, one of my bestfriends doesn't need to feel like this...ever.

My boyfriend and I just looked at eachother but then looked down considering we don't even know what to say anymore to him.

I don't know what's gotten into Tris.

His voice made me get pulled out of my thoughts and for Connor and I to look at him again.

"You know it's funny...it's funny that I was in the hospital and now Brad is." he let out a dry laugh.

"The only difference is that Brad might not wakeup...it should've been me."

"Hey! Don't say that. Nothing would be the same without you. Nothing would be the same without Brad also. We both need you." I pointed out while going to grab him by the wrists.

As soon as I grabbed one of his wrist he let out a wince in pain.

Why?

Tristan's P.O.V

James was on his way to grab my wrists, before I could stop him it was too late.

I let out a wince of pain.

Shit.

Both boys gave me a confused look.

Before I could even wiggle my wrist out of his grip, he slid up the sleeve of my sweater.

Once both boys eyes are on my cut they both have shocked and sad expressions on their faces.

"Why?" my older friend asked sternly.

"I needed to." I simply stated showing no expression on my face.

"I needed to feel the pain I caused Brad." I explained in a monotone voice.

"That doesn't give you the right to hurt yourself!" James started to raise his voice like he always does.

"James babe, calm down please." my Scottish friend took his boyfriend's hand in his in hope to calm him down.

Connor always finds a way to calm down James.

Brad would always be able to calm me down I'm sure.

If only if he woke up! Which he won't!

"Tris, I think it's best if you go already to the band house." the Scottish boy pulled me out of my thoughts.

"Yea, I think your right. I'll go. Bye." I said bye to the two boys and left just like that.

I made my way to the elevator, and just went down to the lobby.

Without saying anything, not even a goodbye to the lady at the front desk.

I only exited the building, and got into my car.

Starting towards home.

*Time Skip to the Band House*

I arrived at the band house going up the stairs to my room this time.

In my room, I took off my shoes and plopped down on my bed.

Is it okay to feel broken? Is it?

I just kept asking myself that until I just let my tears flow out of my eyes.

"Why me!?" I yelled out through my tears.

Why me? Why might the boy I ruin my chances with get taken away from me!?

Cause either way he won't ever forgive you or love you.

Cause you ruined everything.

I just curled under my blankets and cried.

I feel nothing but pure emptiness and sadness in me.

I feel numb.

*
Sooo hello there lovely people reading this x

I'm seriously at the point where I am questioning what is happening to me cuz I'm making this so sad...and I feel like where da fuck is my heart!?

But Jonnor saw Tristan's cut and I feel like my bby is slowly entering depression rn...and that's not how I wanted this to go but we are doing it either way...even if it's killing me.

Although I feel like the song I chose for this chapter is good cuz the lyrics 💔 and cuz I fucking love Glee btw :)

And remember wen I said one more chapter and epilogue?...well ig I was wrong so Yay :D more chappies!

Also I'm sorry if this is a short chapter and if it seems boring :( I just wanted a chapter like this ♡

I updated today cuz I feel like I'll update 2marrow or either Monday or either both days ;) Also cuz this book almost finished and I just started to write the 1st and 2nd chapter of my jonnor fanfic on here yasss!  Also ON TUESDAY I START HIGHSCHOOL... yayy...can you see I'm excited cuz I'm not...welp me plz :'(

Anywayyy, I love you beautiful people and your awesome af xxxx I hope you liked this chapter xx Vote and comment if you liked this ♡♡♡ Loveeee youuuu guys! Byeeee!