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Life continued as usual. The seasons changed. Time flew by as Danny grew older. New experiences greeted us both, and I was there to witness most of them. From his first day of kindergarten to his last day of 5th- grade- and a few bad moments in between- I stood proudly, joining the applauses around me as I watched the 5th-grade graduates stand.

"We are so proud of all of you!" Principal Rutherford ended the ceremony by congratulating the students.

Chaos ensued after his last words, and soon the parents were drowning in a sea of anxious, excited 10 and 11-year-olds. I had enough paranoia for 10 parents as I watched Danny run towards us, his dark blonde hair swaying with each fast movement he made. Before I get caught in his face, I refocus my attention.

In my head I repeat to myself: Just watch him... make sure no one snatches him up. One thing I learned was to always keep my eye on him. I'd never lose-

"Daniel Christopher Campbell!" my mom shouts exuberantly.

"Grandma!"

I watch them share a tight hug. Feelings of pride and happiness reside in my heart. My lips curve and soon my small smile forms into a wide grin. From the hell we both went through this year, it was rewarding to see my baby finally become a middle schooler.

Shortly after the ceremony, we went back to my parents for dinner. Aside from the silence, it wasn't quite the same seeing my mother and father so...distant. It was as if the only thing keeping them connected was Danny and myself.

It reminded me to pull Jared closer. A small squeeze on my hand let me know that we were on the same page.

After dinner, we say our goodbyes.

"Ava," my mom stops me at the door. "You know I'm proud of you too, honey." She pauses to smile at me. "You've made  so much progress in these last 7 years."

"Thanks, mom. " I give her another hug before stepping out into the night.

I agree with her. I know I've progressed but I also know that I'll never forget what happened to me. I'll still have to see a therapist.  I'll still always look over my shoulder when I'm out. And sometimes I won't even go out.  I'll still have to look at Danny, an exact physical resemblance of his father, and swallow my panic. I'll always be smiling on the outside but dying on the inside.

--

Sorry for the wait. Writers block and depression are a hell of a drug.  😔

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⏰ Last updated: Apr 13, 2018 ⏰

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