4/11 Our Sweet Love || j.hs ✔️

Chapter 20

I sit there in the hospital for a while. My mother had to go back to her cafe because an employee got sick and had to go home, they were the only one that's actually able to work at the front desk so she had to take over. I look around the room for a while. The paintings I've done for my father, what ever he wanted, I drew. There was one of a dog eating a flower.

He told me that he saw a dog do it when he got to take a walk outside and that it made him laugh. It made me smile to think that my father would laugh about something so goofy. Honestly, if this would have never happened... My dad would have never loved me like he does now. And I would have never met my mom. These things were supposed to happen so that I can make it here.

I smile at another painting he told me to draw. It was of a butterfly sitting on a rose. "The butterfly resembles you." He told me when I had painted it. "How?" I had asked. "You'll understand when someone explains it to you..  Then you'll see what I mean." He smiled. His smile was one of those things that he could never stop doing. If cancer would have never found my dad, he would have never smiled.

He would still be that stuck up, grouchy man he was a couple months ago. I look at all the other paintings. They all symbolized something, about him. All that he had hidden inside himself. I just transfered it to canvas.

"Paint for me Faith." He says as he lays there. I smile and stand up. "Okay." I say as I walk over to the supplies I always left. "What is it today?" I ask. He's quiet for a while. His face had no hair, neither did his head. He was like a wrinkly raison, chemo does that to you I guess. "The sky." He says. "The sky now or the sky of tomorrow?" I ask. He chuckles. "The sky of.. After life." He finishes. I look at him odd. I wasn't really sure of what he was thinking.

"How do you see the sky dad?" I ask. He closes his eyes. "Lots of blue, different pigments and shades of blues. And beautiful clouds that are soft to the touch." He explains. I get to work. "The sun rays cutting through the thin clouds." He says. I then start to Invision what he wants, and paint as he watches. "You're an amazing artist Faith.." He says. I smile as my paint brush glides along the canvas.

"You've told me many times." I chuckle, even though I wasn't tired of him saying it. "Its true.. I don't get why I didn't see it before.." He pauses. "I wish I would have payed more attention to you.. And what you wanted." I turn and look at him. "Why do you keep saying things like you're not going to see me again?" I ask.

His eyes had a tight grip on mine, and I knew that he felt something I couldn't.. At least the way he did.

Pain. I couldn't feel his pain. It reminds me of that time that he couldn't go to sleep because the chemo was giving him head aches and his bones hurt. What was he thinking as he looked into my eyes? Was he thinking of something specific? 

"What are you thinking dad?" I ask. He tilts his head. "I don't know.." He says. I frown. "I feel." He adds. I'm surprised.

"I feel that all this has happened to me for a reason.. To teach me a lesson.. To make things happen not only for me, but for you.." He pauses. "Maybe if I wouldn't have gotten Cancer.. You wouldn't have met your mother.." He bites his lip then looks at the painting. "Even if I don't go to Heaven.. I know that you'll be okay.." He lays back, looking up at the ceiling.

"Faith.. I'm proud of you.. As my daughter and the human being that you've become. And thank the Great Lord Almighty you didn't come out like me. You came out like your mother." He let's out a breath. "I wish I can take it back.. Forcing your mother away.. Forcing you to do what I want.. But you're successful on your own, and I'm happy for you." I turn and continue to paint.

"That's why I know.. When I'm gone. You'll do great." I stop, the paint becoming a blotch as I leave the brush pressed on the canvas. "I love you.. So m-uch.." His voice cracks. I blink back my tears. "I just wish that I would have loved you like I should have your whole life." I turn to him. "You can continue to love me..." I tell him. He doesn't look at me, his tears falling down he cheeks. We don't say anything for a while, finally..