Five thousand feet over you

Chapter Eighteen

Kat:
After breakfast Jackson and I do the dishes. "Babe I'm not proud about how I've been acting, I'm sorry." Jackson runs his fingers through his dark shaggy hair. "I just haven't had enough time to fully process everything that has been going on."

I dry off a large skillet and hang it on a hook by the stove. Jackson comes up from behind me and puts his hands on my waist and turns me around so we're looking into each others eyes. Mine the color of washed out denim and his the color of fallen pine needles.

He gives me a quick kiss on the forehead before we continue washing the dishes. We work quickly and quietly. Ali deals with the guest at the counter while Alex helps people plan the rest if there hike.

In September I work at the Pinkham Notch base camp, it's my favorite time to work . You have people hiking the Appalachian Trail come up for a while. I like hearing the stories they tell at dinner time. About how once it rained so hard that there was a small mud slide. Or how it got so cold that they lined there tent with there emergency blanket and had to wear every item of clothing they brought. One day I want to hike the Appalachian Trail. But now that goal seems impossible.

I'm not allowed to work at the base camp this year due to my condition. I'll miss all the stories. All the adventures. I try to shake this from my mind but I feel tears well in my eyes.

"Kat?" Asks Jackson. "What's the matter sweetie?" He shakes the soap off his hands before wiping the tear off my cheek.

I couldn't get the words out. I didn't know how to say what I was feeling.

I glance over at Marc who had an open guest log in front of him. He sat there and stared at me. The tears streaming down my face. I had been a mess this week. I knew it had to get better. Some how. I had to make things better.

I quickly pull myself together, a trick I had become very good at. I wipe away my tears and put on a smile.

"Everything is fine." I say, my voice almost breaking. "Everything is just fine." I repeat. It was reassuring to hear the words, even if they were coming from my own mouth. I was good at convincing myself that everything was fine and things were okay. If I told myself it enough I would eventually start to believe it.

But Jackson wasn't so easily fooled. He pulled me close and didn't let go for a long long time. The guest began to stare at us through the large door way. I could feel my cheeks turn red. I gave him a quick squeeze and let go and began on my dishes. The guest walked away pretending they didn't see what just happened.

Jackson looked over at me and gave me a quick nod. Everything is fine.