BAMBI

XXVIII

I already knew what he wanted to talk about, I'd been waiting for it since he'd brought it up the night before. My focus turned from him to my panties, repositioning then so they sat correctly then nonchalantly said, "No, I'm not talking about that." My eyes stayed on my garter belt straps while I fiddled with them before finally looking up to meet his baffled face.

"You don't even know what I want to talk to you about." A slight annoyance swam through his words.

"Yes I do, and that's not something I talk about."

Prince finally stood to his feet and gave me a comforting kiss on the lips, "Karen said I should talk to you about it because you've never told anyone except her."

"Prince..."

"She said she's worried about you. And that you've just bottled it up and never got any help." His eyes stared into mine, trying to will the thoughts out of my head.

The overwhelming feeling of being face to face with those memories made the walls of the room close in on us, his eyes unknowingly causing so much trepidation as they waited for me to spew painful stories from the past I'd worked so hard to forget. Feeling the tears start to well up, my focus left his and honed in on the only way out of the room, "Excuse me." I walked past Prince and towards the door.

"Where you going?" He grabbed my arm, swinging me around so we were face to face.

My vision blurred and my voice on the brink of cracking, "The bathroom." I pulled away from his grip and left him standing alone in the library. Running down the hall and into the bathroom, the sweet sound of the latch taking me away from his inquisitive gaze, I collapsed against the wall, sliding down onto the cold tile floor. My face fell into my palms while the rush of pent up emotions poured out of me. This wasn't the first time I've lost it over my past, but it certainly was the first time I've done it in front of another person, besides Karen.

While the emotions welled out of my eyes, time got away from me. I couldn't hear the knocking over my own sobs so I had no way of knowing how long he'd been standing on the other side of the door, but once I realized he was there, I tried to push that monster back down inside of me. Clearing my throat, "I'll be right out." My voice still jumpy, waiting for his response.

"Oh, ok." His soft voice was just above a whisper. Assuming he walked away from the door, I lifted my head, hitting it against the wall behind me just hard enough to make a noise as I breathed through the overwhelming sentiment. "You ok?" Without any warning, the door swung open.

Prince stood there, gazing down at me with a sincere look of concern stretched across his face. "I should go." I quickly stood to my feet, feverishly trying to wipe the running makeup out from under my eyes, the humiliation painting my face red.

"Why?"

"Prince, I can't. Ok?" I pleaded.

His hands reached up, tearing mine away from my face, looking into my eyes now swollen and red, "Just stay. Ok? Please stay." He let my hands fall to my side, bringing his own nurturing touch to my face, "Promise you'll stay."

My eyes closed and my face leaned into his hand. His comforting touch made me feel like I wasn't alone, made me feel like I didn't have to hide anymore. "Ok." I said, just above a whisper.

Before I knew it, Prince was leading me into the living room, where I'd spent the better part of two hours by myself earlier on. The tick tock of timepiece on the mantle that drove me insane earlier was barely audible amongst Prince's heels clicking around the room. Making his way to a door, he opened it, pulling out a crocheted throw made up of various shades of purple. "Here, lie down." Holding the blanket up to his chest, he waited for me to lie down on the couch before covering me with the soft blanket. "Let me put a record on, then I'll make us some tea." I nodded and watched him walk over to the small collection of records he had next to the turntable. Picking up a sleeve, he set the record in the turntable, the melodic sounds of 1940's jazz began filling up the space.