BAMBI

XXXVIII

That night I didn't sleep very well. Besides the fact that I was extremely hurt by Karen's choice in a date, I learned that I had become accustomed to sleeping next to Prince. Not feeling the tight grip he usually held around me or hearing the light snores he always denied making made me miss him more than I ever thought I could. And after what had happened with Karen, I felt like I needed him more than ever.

So I stood from my bed to get ready for my meeting with Prince at Paisley Park and I immediately felt the familiar rush of fluid that always came with my monthly visitor.

A big sense of relief lifted from my shoulders. It wasn't until then that I realized just how anxious I'd been about the incident. Prince and I had never discussed the possibility of having kids and in fact, before that night, had never discussed anything regarding the progress of our relationship and the next steps we'd take.

And it wasn't that I didn't want to have any children. I definitely did. Ever since I was a little girl, pinning washcloths around my teddy bears as makeshift diapers, I'd always dreamed of having a family. Two girls and two boys to be exact. But this wasn't the way I envisioned my contribution to the next generation.

After throwing on some jeans, a t-shirt and a jacket I made my way towards Paisley Park. Driving down the mile long stretch of road between my house and the studio, passing the snow covered trees in the foreground of the frigid winter scene that made its appearance the night before, my mind was on nothing but Karen. Although I was mad at her, furious actually, I still expected her to call me. To at least make some sort of attempt to apologize or explain herself, but nothing.

A couple of minutes after I left the warmth of my home I pulled into the parking lot of Paisley Park. I drove around the cars buried under heaps of snow before stopping dead in my tracks. Lowering my sun visor, I plucked out the pink, heart shaped post-it from the fabric strap and stared at the six numbers written on it. Prince had given me the access code to his garage but until that point I had refused to use it. I didn't want any preferential treatment from him. But with the temperature teasing negative numbers I couldn't resist.

So I drove around to the back of the building and mimicked what I'd seen Prince do to the keypad countless times. Watching the industrial sized garage door roll into itself, I waited for it to complete its journey before driving onto the shiny speckled tile floor of the garage.

Minutes after leaving my car I found myself inside of Prince's office, waiting for him to return from the studio where according to his secretary he'd been fixing the switchboard.

I waited for about fifteen minutes, wiggling my toes in the plush carpet of his office while going over the payroll file he asked me to bring.

"You better not be rubbing holes in my carpet!" Prince shouted from behind me, making me jump out of my seat.

"Oh my god!" I shouted back, turning around while clutching my chest, trying to tame my erratic heart beat. "You scared me!"

"I'm sorry baby." Prince laughed, reaching out to grab my shoulders, bringing me in for a kiss. "I didn't mean to scare you." The familiarity of his lavender scented cologne filled my nostrils when we embraced, bringing me much needed comfort. Suddenly, I felt a stream of tears tumble down my cheek and as much as I tried to stay strong, the betrayal I felt from Karen was starting to consume me. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing... just Karen and I kinda got into it last night." Pulling away from his hug, I unsuccessfully tried to wipe away my tears.