Jake Pitts is my father?

This Is The Memory, This Is The Curse Of Having Too Much Time To Think About It.

********Jake's P.O.V********

"Well, Miss Cole, you are not pregnant," The doctor said.

Ella breathed a sigh of relief from within the office. It had been a fiasco; Ella couldn't contain her crying, she was so worried. I, on the other hand, would have enjoyed a new son or daughter. I think a baby would've brought our family closer together.

"Oh thank god," Ella said, clasping a hand over heart.

"You both may go now," The doctor said...rude.

"Thanks," I muttered, standing up from the hard plastic chair I was seated in.

"Thank you so much," Ella said, beaming.

We left the office and walked back to the car. The car ride was mainly silent, I turned on the radio to help break the awkwardness. Ella stared out of her window on the passengers side.

"Is everything ok, Jake?" Ella asked nervously.

"Everything's fine," I said, becoming very short with her.

"Well you're not acting like it is, tell me what's wrong?" She pried.

"Maybe...maybe I wanted another kid,"

"Jake, don't start this. You know we can't do that right now-"

"Why not?!" I cut her short "What is stopping us from having another kid?"

"Well we have to focus on Xana right now, she needs us. If another kid came along we'd have to give it more attention than her. It wouldn't be fair," She explained calmly.

"Xana will get better, there would be nine months that we would have to help her!" I yelled.

"You really think its that easy? Tell me, Jake, when was the last time you were pregnant? And it wouldn't be fair to limit her time for getting help!" Ella snapped.

"I just...I just want another baby. I miss when Xana and Laina were kids...I miss Laina," I said, tears forming in my eyes. I quickly wiped them away, I couldn't drive with my emotions bothering me.

"Jake, I know you do. You loved her so much, you still do," She rubbed my arm "But having another baby won't bring her back,"

"I know, I know. Let's just drop the subject, it's not the time to talk about it,"

"Alright. And I'm not saying that I would fully put having a baby out of the question, maybe I'd like another little one," She said with a smile.

I grinned slightly and continued driving. Images of Laina pervaded my memory, they were enough to break me down. I fought through it, though; there would be time for sorrow another time.

We pulled up into our driveway and I stopped the car. Ella immediately hopped out of the car and almost shut it, she stopped when she saw me still seated.

"You coming?" She asked.

"I think I'll stay here for awhile, you go on ahead," I said, massaging my temples with my hands.

"Alright..." She said, slamming the door.

When she was inside, I began to break down.

"FUUUUUUCK!" I screamed, slamming my head on the steering wheel.

Tears poured down my face. All of that thinking about Laina and potentially having a new baby had finally caught up to me. I let out a loud groan wiped my eyes, finally regaining composure.

"Are you ok?" I heard someone ask, I saw it was Xana.

"Xana...I hadn't even heard you open the door," I said, sniffling.

"Oh. Sorry," She mumbled.

"It's ok, and I'm fine, by the way,"

"You sure? You seemed pretty upset,"

"I'm fine now, I was just thinking about..." My voice trailed off.

"Laina?" She offered.

"Yeah...how'd you know?"

"I think about her all the time," She said, giving me a sympathetic smile.

"It's so hard. I completely forgot I wasn't the only one affected when she died,"

"It's ok, dad. You have every right to be sad, she was your daughter,"

I stared at Xana; I'd been blessed with such a beautiful and intelligent daughter, I wanted to help her fight her eating disorder. I knew I had to stop being selfish and change my ways. Maybe if Xana saw her dad being strong she'd try to emulate that...I hoped my plan would work.