The Rising Sun (A Stiles Stilinski/Teen Wolf Fanfiction) [2]

Chapter 1 - Losing Your Memory

**Disclaimer** I do not own Teen Wolf or any of it's characters or plot lines. Everything else was created in my crazy little mind and belongs to me. So there's that.

 Chapter 1 - Losing Your Memory

I really wish I could stop disappointing all these people. I have no idea who any of them are, but I still feel like I'm letting them all down. I understand that I'm supposed to know them, remember them, but I don't. I don't remember anything -- memory wise at least. All I know is that I woke up in the forest in the arms of somebody named Stiles. He's been outside of my hospital room all weekend. I'm not sure what to make of that.

There are two other men who claim to be my father and brother. I believe them. My father was crying when I woke up. I wish he hadn't been. It only made me feel worse about not recognizing him. I mean, what could it possibly be like to stare into the eyes of your child and have them not remember a single memory you have with them? 

I've been trying to remember, but I just can't. It started making me panicky after awhile, so the doctors made me stop. They won't let my father or my brother, Eric I believe is his name, bring in pictures anymore. They thought seeing the memories would trigger them, but nothing came of it. It is so strange, seeing photos of yourself doing things you cannot recall. It's as though I've lived my entire life in a blackout. 

I finally got the nerve to ask the question that was tugging at the back of my mind. I asked my supposed father where my mother was. I had seen her in many of the pictures. A mother would usually refuse to leave her daughter's bedside if she were burdened to a hospital room, but no such woman had come to visit me.

My father sighed when I asked, sitting himself down on the chair next to my bed. I felt an instant worry. People only sit down when they have bad news. Even I know that.

Then, he proceeded to tell me all about the mother and sister I once had. He told me how they died in a car accident over three years ago. I survived, but they didn't. It felt like some kind of sick joke. I didn't even know them, but I still cried as my heart twisted in pain. I had a mother and a sister. Now I have nothing. I can't even remember them. 

My feelings were so confused, they still are. I don't know whether or not I should mourn them, or had I already done enough? I don't remember them, yet I still feel sad. I feel guilty for not being able to be sad for them properly.

It is so strange, to know I have lived a full sixteen years of life, but to not be able to recall a single moment. I don't know how to act, or whether I'm still the same girl I once was. I don't know who I am or who to be. I'm just lost.

Multiple people have stopped by to visit me since I've been here. I recognize some of them from when I woke up in the forest. One was an olive-skinned boy named Scott. He said he and I were good friends. I believed him, because there was a pain in his voice when he said it. 

Yesterday a dark-haired girl named Allison came to talk to me. She said that we sat next to each other in class and were friends. I've come to the assumption that anyone who would waste an hour of their day to visit me must be a friend. She was sad when we talked, but it was a distant kind of sad. I knew it wasn't because of me.

"Are you okay?" I asked her.

I think I caught her off guard with my question because she shifted and became antsy. I doubt she expected the girl laying in the hospital bed to ask her  if she was okay. She nodded her head, but I noticed her eyes glazing over and knew that she was lying. 

"No you're not," I said. I sat up, feeling fine and tired of being on bed-rest. 

She sighed and wiped a tear that escaped her eye before it could fall into her lap. She gave me a forced smile, as if to pretend that whatever was bothering her didn't actually hurt. I may not have any memories, but that doesn't mean I can't feel compassion towards others, that I can't feel their pain.