crystal method || Harry Styles au

18

"Mai!" The image of headlights ramming into her lover replayed over and over in her head and she couldn't get it to stop. "Mai, for fucks sake! Stop. I love you. I love you; you crazy, beautiful girl. I am in love with you. I've loved you since day one." She trembled at the thoughts and tossed and turned.

Her body jerked up and she looked around at her surroundings. She was sitting on the floor in the kitchen; in the same attire she had fallen asleep in. "MAI!" She turned to see Harry in front of her, his hands were holding firmly onto her shoulders. "What did you do?" He shook her, his eyes threatening to water over and it took a few seconds for the girl to understand what exactly was going on. "What did you do?!" He cried out and she looked down at her arms that were covered in scratches. She pulled her nails off of her skin in shock and scanned her body. She had been scratching herself? "My God." He whispered and took a deep breath before kissing her forehead forcefully. "I was worried you wouldn't wake up. I thought you weren't going to wake up." He repeated himself out of horror and took her hands in his own, examining her nails.

"What happened?" she choked out and looked at him while he looked at her with terror.

"I woke up and you weren't there and I came in here and you were just digging your nails- Mai, look." He said softly before lifting her hands up so she could get a good view of them. She wasn't exactly paying close attention the first time. "You're bleeding." He murmured and stood up from his crouched position. She ran her fingertips over the gashes in her arms. How could someone do that to themselves and not wake up? Harry sat back down in front of her with a wet washcloth and dabbed her skin.

"How did I get out her-" She started and he grumbled; half asleep still.

"I have absolutely no idea." He glanced over at her crutches that were leaning against the wall a couple feet away. There was no way.

After the bleeding stopped and she was covered in 20+ open wounds and about 50+ that were just merely scratches; red marks at most, Harry carried her back to his bedroom where she settled into his mattress.

"You're okay right?" He sat behind her and pulled her hair back into a messy bun, the way she typically wore it when she slept. Her hair had come undone around the same time her mind had come undone. Her scalp was sore; probably from tugging on it from previous events.

She nodded in the dark but he didn't fail to see the slight movement.

"Most people don't scream bloody murder in their sleep and then attack themselves, Mai." He was acting like a worried parent and she didn't like it. She felt just as clueless in this situation as she knew he did. She was still trying to remember the moments leading up to it and didn't understand how she could sit there and cause that much damage to herself. Harry continued,  "We should go by tomorrow and talk to the hospital to see if this could be related to the brain-,"

"Did you stop?" Mai didn't know what compelled her to say it, but she did and there wasn't much of a cover up after it was asked.

"Stop what?" He questioned right back at her and she sunk under the sheets.

"Smoking." She stated and his face dropped quickly at the mention of his addiction. The distinct smell of cologne in the air had been a dead give-away. There was no hint of smoke and if there was one, it was so faint that she could barely smell it. Typically Harry had a little odor due to the cigarettes but she failed to smell it the last few hours she had been with him and it was refreshing. She smoked every now and then, but never could she go through 3 packs in a day unlike Harry. She watched him battle with himself as she tried to change the topic. 

"I stopped when you asked me to, that day at the hospit-"

"Right." She said quickly and smiled faintly at him. "I'm sorry for waking you up." She gave a soft mumble and felt her heartbeat pick up as his arms pulled her into his chest. He wasn't one for cuddling and she knew that the only reason he had let her fall asleep on him in the first place was because he felt bad.

The first time she had even offered him the idea of 'cuddling' he said, "oh, fuck off," and moved to the opposite side of the bed. Not a guy who was well with his words.

He nuzzled his nose in her hair and said something incoherent before the room grew silent again.

She didn't want to fall asleep again; if it was going to result in those dreams, she never wanted to sleep again.