crystal method || Harry Styles au

39

"What did you do?" Harry inched closer to the middle aged man that was busy fixing his belt buckle. "What the hell did you do?" Harry held the left-over cash in one hand and his soda in the other; looking over the man's shoulder and into their motel room. He could distinctively see Mai's shivering body, naked and bruised; shaking on the bed, the sound of her whimpers mentally scarred him and the objects in his hands fell to the ground. The graying man tried to dodge the teenage boy but was quickly backed into the cement wall with two fists flying at full force.

The next 30 seconds were blurred and Harry remembered the kind American ladies voice that ushered him off the man and told him to leave immediately before the police arrived. He got out with a bloody lip and ruffled hair, while the man lay unconscious on the ground.

There was no thinking at all. He ran into the room to grab Mai and wrapped her in her favorite blanket that she had brought with her into the motel and kissed her forehead; a look of sadness in his eyes and emptiness in hers. He tossed their few items into the luggage and left the room just long enough to throw it in the trunk of the pick-up truck. When he arrived to the bedroom, Mai had walked herself to the door and Harry tried to put an arm around her waist but she simply pushed him away and headed towards the truck. He felt so foolish for leaving her alone for so long but the damn vending machine was broken and he was just trying to get her a snack.

The drive through the next few towns was silent and he couldn't bring himself to ask Mai what had happened or how the man had gotten into the bedroom within the 10 minutes that he had left her alone.

"We should have never come here." Harry mumbled as they drove deeper and deeper into California. "We should have stayed in Oregon." Mai watched the way he would turn the wheel and often look at her but not say a word. His grip was tight and despite the obvious elephant in the car, he just remained quiet for the next few miles.

"Do you remember that poem that you wrote in sophomore English? Um, it was during 3rd quarter and we had to write about star-crossed lovers." Mai pulled at the blanket threads that were coming undone and looked over to the driver of the car. They were currently stopped at a red light and she couldn't help but stare at the way the sunset seemed so unimportant compared to the beauty of the man sitting right in front of it.

"You wrote 'Their love was strong, but timing was wrong, and love decided that they didn't belong.'" Mai quoted his poem perfectly and she blushed as he looked at the girl in amazement. "It was the shortest poem written out of the whole class and somehow you still managed to get an 'A' on it." She placed her feet on the dashboard of the car and leaned her head back.

"I was banging the teacher." He stated softly.

"Or maybe, just maybe, it was incredibly written." She tugged on her loose hair strands and avoided eye contact.

"How did you remember it?" A horn honked and Harry looked up to see a green light.

"You fascinated me." She shrugged and he couldn't stop looking at her. He was fascinated by her as well.

Mai searched in her bag and pulled out her journal that was absolutely falling to pieces. She scribbled in tiny writing on the inside cover something that just seemed right at the time as she was looking at this magnificent boy.

"I get that

You don't belong

In this world.

But do get

That neither do I.

We can be outsiders

Together."

"What are you writing?" Harry smirked and looked over her before back towards the road.

"None of your business." She scoffed and nudged closer to the window.

"Just wondering babe." He bit his lip gently and continued his steady focus out the window and she looked back over the inked pages of her notebook. Every single entry seemed to be about him lately and she wasn't sure if that was a sign of weakness or not. He desperately wanted to ask her if she was okay but he knew she wasn't. The images of the dirty man were the only thing his mind could focus on. He took things from Harry that she was saving. He took things from Mai that she would never get back; her sense of security. The thought made his stomach turn and he choked down the vile taste building up his throat. She was the strongest person he had ever met, even if she didn't believe It herself. He just hoped that the feeling of the other mans hands wouldn't make her repulsive to his own touch. It would be a shame to never be able to love her in that way; for her to believe that sex was dirty and making love wasn't a privilege she had.

"Why did you get with Rose?" Mai glanced over one of her older pieces and couldn't help but notice that it was about her sister. She pulled him out of his thoughts and he was grateful but the topic change caught him off guard. He knew she was bringing up everything she possibly could to find an out. She was so comfortable in her sadness and loneliness that she felt like she needed to flee from anything that could grant her happiness; including the curly haired boy who had found it through her.

"I thought we were done with this conversation." He groaned and took another sharp turn which angered Mai slightly.

"I just don't understand how you can claim to love me when you were banging my sister. You don't just fall in love overnight-" Her words reassured his previous thoughts that she was doubting his feelings once again. He was at a loss. He didn't know what more he could do to show her his feelings. He had given her his most personal item; his journal. He had respected her wishes to wait until marriage. He pushed his pride aside and asked her to marry him even though it was something he vowed to never do.

The car stopped abruptly and Mai noticed that he had pulled off into the grass while other cars sped past.

"Mai, I have liked you since day one but was too much of a fucking coward to do anything about my feelings. As far as I was concerned, I was an emotionless asshole until about 2 months ago. You're the only thing that's keeping me sane. Your laugh is what stops the heroin from hitting my veins and the way you look at me makes me remember there is more to this life then drowning yourself in liquor and you stop the nightmares because knowing you has become a dream come true. And Jesus fucking Christ, you're the motivation I have to inhale and exhale, you make me feel alive. And those moments we share- seconds or hours, they are enough to get me through this swamp of self-destruction. You make my chest tight and I love you more than I hate myself. I have memorized the way your lips look when you say "I love you too" and I play that over and over again in my head because it's like a shield from this bullet that wants to come crashing in and erase all that I am."

Mai sat in the passenger seat, completely dumbfounded.

a/n; slow updates from now on because it's the end of the year and I'm so stressed idk, I really love you guys for sticking with this story and putting up with me.

The ending paragraph was found on tumblr and I don't take credit for it, same for Harry's poem from English class. Alrighty love you guys so much.

45 comments until I post the next chapter.