crystal method || Harry Styles au

27

"Dad," He cleared his throat and waited for a small boost of encouragement from Mai, which he never got, "You really were a shitty father." He picked at his fingernails and thought harder. "And um, I don't think you ever really tried. Um, you were never there, I mean, at least mom tried. She wanted to know about me and my grades. You just- you just couldn't care less I guess." He chuckled nervously and looked over at Mai, earning a small smile from her.

"That time, that I crashed the car, I- I know you were mad because that was your favorite car. And I know that you knew that I was the one who always stole your weed, but you always blamed mom. You refused to hit me, and I don't know why, but I think it's worse that you didn't. You just got mad and you'd give me that damn look; then you'd turn to mom and just lay into her. I think you loved her, I know she loved you. Um, I've been doing okay lately; the blackouts don't happen that often. I still don't know why you did what you did. I want to believe it was some Romeo and Juliet kind of deal. Kids looked at me funny because of it and the pastor wouldn't stop lecturing me. I just wish you wouldn't have done It while I was home you know? You never cooked, because you always said that was mom's job. But you also spent all of your 'work money' on booze so I guess that was a little more important. You never helped me on my homework, and every time I was in the hospital, you refused to visit. Mom always made up excuses, but I know you just didn't care. You've never cared."

He was shaky but Mai didn't mind, he needed to do this. He had kept everything bottled up the past 2 years.

"Mom, I love you, I really do. Mai has done a pretty good job at taking care of me lately and I know that you loved her like she was one of your own. I don't know what you did to make Dad so mad that night, but I'm sorry. I really do love you." He sighed and drummed his fingers in the grass, turning slowly to look at Mai.

"You happy?" His eyes were large and puffy, begging to go home. She smiled softly and nodded at him, standing up and taking his hand in hers.

She walked carefully through the yard until they got to the fence and made it over. They were silent the whole ride home and until the split to go their separate ways.

"Stop, please, please stop. No!" Mai's chest heaved as she gasped for air and sat up in the bed. Her bedroom door flew open and she looked over at Harry. He stood in his boxers, and blanket wrapped around his shoulders and his hair awry.

"What's wrong babe?" He walked to her bed slowly, not trying to frighten her as she took in her surroundings. "Your dad." He whispered in the understanding and pulled her into his chest, not caring if it was uncomfortable or not. "Mai, you really need to see someone about that; It kills me to see you like this." He wiped at her eyes and the makeup she failed to get off a few hours before.

"I don't need to see any-"

"Mai, your dad raped you." He spoke gently but he could still see the depression in her eyes and every part of her screaming out for help.

"And your dad shot your mom." She looked up through wet eyelashes and he let out a sigh in understanding. He remembered their conversation at the graveyard a week before and how it was the first time she had ever heard him talk about his parents death. Classy kill then suicide.

They sat in silence while Mai's eyes flashed everywhere in the room. "Harry."

"Mhm?" He ran a finger down her thigh and she looked up at him with shy eyes.

"I haven't been with anyone since my father- you know." She spoke under her breath and he blinked innocently.

"I thought- you've had guys over." He was confused and Mai could tell.

"Never did I do anything." She looked away from him for a few seconds out of embarrassment.

"That's not a bad thing Mai... You're afraid, I completely understand. You shouldn't do it with someone you don't trust." He lightly scratched at her soft skin and watched his fingers trail over her goosebumps.

"I want you." She whispered and watched as he combed his dark brown hair back with his fingers; smiling slightly.

"What?"