crystal method || Harry Styles au

23

"You said that you would stop." Harry let out a shaky breath and pulled Mai into his chest. She shook in his arms, letting out silent sobs.

"I'm going to bed." She stepped back and he quickly reached up to wipe her cheeks.

He nodded in response and stepped to the side so she could walk out into the hallway. Instead of turning towards Harry's room, she made a right and made her way to her own bedroom.

"Where are you going?" Harry shouted slightly and she stopped in her tracks.

"I think I'm going to sleep in my own bed, I'm fine." She tucked her loose hair behind her ear and closed the door to her bedroom.

Mai stared at the bed for a few minutes until she pulled back the comforter. The silk feel felt so different to her than the pure cotton of Harry's bed and she slid open the drawer at the foot of her bed; grabbing a pair of shorts and a simple t-shirt. There was a part of her that was absolutely positive that her and Harry would never work, but there was also a part of her that never gave up on the people she loved.

She switched her lamp off and collapsed into her bed. She couldn't bring herself to cry anymore. She had seemingly spent more time crying than she had actually trying to think through her relationship with Harry.

Harry ran his hands through his hair and looked up at the medicine cabinet. He grabbed the pack of razors and tossed it into the toilet; hitting the handle quickly and watching the blades go down. He grabbed the remaining one off of the ground and threw it in before the water finished its cycle.

He slammed the cabinet shut and looked at his reflection in the mirror; disgusted by the person looking back. He ran his hands over his face and peeled his shirt off, staring at himself and picking apart every part of him that was disappointing.

"God Damn it." He punched the wall behind him and groaned before stomping to his bedroom.

He was tired of ruining everything. Harry never put two and two together; his past wasn't supposed to get in the way of the present. But it seemed to happen over and over again. Mai had spent so much of her time investing in him and he didn't understand why. There was nothing special about him; there was too much wrong with the boy. He was messed up; screwed up in all the right places. No one had ever stuck around; including his parents.

His teachers didn't have faith in him, his parents, his friends; but Mai, there was something about her that made her stick around. He was aware that her parents weren't exactly "A+", they had that in common, but he was far off worse than she was. She had the opportunity to do something with her life. She could've gone to college, gotten out of this 'hell hole' that people called 'home'. He had taken advantage of her this whole time and hadn't even noticed.

No one had ever cared the way she did.

He dropped onto his bed and opened up his leather journal; running his fingers over the indented pages. He knew that he would eventually have to get a new one, but there was one page left and he was going to use it.

'It was on a cold winter night,

That I realized no amount of

Words could accurately describe

The yearning I have for your breath

On my skin.

Or the longing to see your

Smile light up your face and

Trace the crinkles along

Your eyes.

Or to feel your arms,

Secure around me with your

Lingering scent.

Or to simply slip

My fingers through

Yours.

And somehow I realize

That all I've ever

wanted is right in front of

my face.

-Harry'

a/n; ending poem was written by Julie Martinez.