This Could All Be Yours

18

My eyes shot open when the phone rang. The sun was up, it must've been noon or later. Gerard had awoken as well, we were both still in the arm chair.

"Sir," Wayne came into the room, "Its for you."

"Who is it?"

"They didn't say, sir."

Gerard got up. And because I was still in a panicky state of mind, I followed him.

He grabbed the phone. "Hello? ... Mr Paterson, how nice of you to call. ... Oh, I meant to call you about that but Frank had gotten sick last night. ... He's alright, but we're taking it easy for today, until he gets better. ... My deepest apologies, Mr Paterson. ... Alright, take care." He hung up and turned to me. "Like I said, nothing to worry about." He kissed my head.

"Thank you."

***

Gerard and I spent the day in the bedroom. No, there was no sex. We were both on the bed and playing cards. He was laying on his side as I was sitting with one knee up. It probably wasn't the best way to be sitting seeing as how I was wearing his button down shirt again, but I didn't care and Gerard didn't find it in any way distracting.

Every now and again he'd graze my other knee, rubbing it with his hand. His touch was soft and gentle. It's always been that way, but right now I can see how much this man has really felt about me.

The slight tickling sensation on my knee made me jerk away from his touch.

"Sorry." He said, taking away his hand.

I put my cards down which made him look back at me. I held eye contact with him for what felt like forever until he motioned for me to come over to him.

When I did, he put down his cards and took my hands in his.

"How about my cuddles, Frankie?"

I smiled as he pulled me down onto the bed with him. He draped his arm over me and kissed me.

"I love you." I said as I cuddled into him.

"Oh, baby, I love you too."

***

The next few days were spent in Gerard's arms. But then Gerard had another meeting to go to, only this time he was leaving for a few days.

"You gonna be okay?" He asked me.

"I'll be fine. I have Bob here with me."

"Okay," He trailed his fingers through my hair. "Be safe, sweetheart. I love you so much."

"You too," I hugged him tightly, "I love you too."

"I'll see you when I get back on Thursday." He placed a kiss on my lips.

I've never spent a night without Gerard since we officially got back together. I wasn't sure how this was going to be but already, watching him leave the house, it was dreadful.

He blew a kiss at me as I did to him and just like that - he was gone.

I sighed, walking away from the window.

"Cheer up, Frank." Bob said walking into the room.

"Easier said." I mumbled.

"Not if you have something to distract yourself."

"Like what?"

He pulled out something from his bag. "I remember you hinting about it to Jay but he never thought twice about it but - here." He handed me a book.

But this was not just some "book" that people just throw on a shelf, never to be seen again. No - this was something better.

"A journal?"

"You told Jay that you wanted a journal so he could catch up with you when he came back from trips. I figured it would work for you and Gerard as well."

Then the light flickered in my head. "That would be perfect! And I could read what he went through, start to finish." My smile slowly faded. "But Gerard doesn't have one..."

"Way ahead of you, Frank. I gave one to him a few days ago. I said it was your idea."

My smile quickly came back to my face as I jumped off the couch, hugging him tightly. "Thank you, Bob!"

***

That night, I laid down in bed. I was freezing without Gerard's warm body next to me. My eyes kept flickering back to the door like he was about to walk in. But he wasn't...not for a few more days.

I groaned and flipped over on my other side. How was I going to sleep tonight?

I sat up, pulling my knees into my chest, resting my elbows on them and my head in my hands.

I turned to the nightstand, grabbing the journal. I wrote the date and time at the top and began to write what I thought.

I miss you tonight.

I can't sleep without you. I keep tossing and turning. I'm waiting for you to come to bed.

Hurry back to me...

-xofrnk

Maybe I was overthinking my situation, but I've lived without Gerard and it wasn't the same.

Before Gerard and I split before, we were inseparable just like how we've been for the last few months. So being without him was all new to me.

Yeah, I know I've been without him for two years before when I was with Jay. But that didn't matter now. What did matter, especially to me, was Gerard and him being here with me.