This one is dedicated to TheWayYouLookTonight for the great help and the always lovely comments!! I owe you this one Sanne!! I hope you all will enjoy this chapter, I had a really difficulty writing it. So please please, let me know what you guys thinks!!
The only thing I could feel was my throbbing head when I woke up. I didn’t want to open my eyes cause I was afraid the light would only make it worse. I wondered what I did that make me feel like this. It wasn’t only my head that had me worried, but also my wet pillow, like I cried the whole night. And there was another thing that got me worried, I had the feeling I fucked something up big time, like I failed again. And that feeling scared me the most.
I tried to think about what happened last night but the only thing that came to my mind was Louis, Louis and Louis. It wasn’t even that uncomfortable, it set me to ease to be honest. Just when something about a pub came to the surface of my mind I heard muffled voices coming from my kitchen. I recognized Louis’ and Harry’s voices. That was the trigger my mind needed, everything from last night came back, some parts a bit blurry but I knew what happened and it got me terrified yet again.
I whimpered in fear about what they would think of me right now. I’m sure they were making a plan of how to get rid of me, how to get me back to Mullingar. Cause who wants someone as pathetic as me around?
The voices became louder and I realized they were walking to my room. I tightened my grip on the sheets and tried to keep my breath steady, but I couldn’t prevent my tears falling from my eyes.
‘Louis, you really look terrible. You should go home and get some sleep, I’ll will stay with him.’ I heard Harry say.
‘I’m not going anywhere Harry! This is nothing compared with Niall. He even cried in his sleep. He only calmed down a bit when I was whispering to him that everything would be fine. So I stayed awake to make sure he at least wasn’t whimpering in his sleep. I owed him that Harry. I treated him like shit, and he didn’t deserve any of it.’
I was in shock about the things Louis said. I cried even in my sleep? The last time that happened to me was… No Niall, don’t think about that! You came here to escape from that don’t let it come to the surface again!
Before I could think any further my door opened and I was frozen. Maybe they didn’t plan on getting rid of me, but I was so ashamed of everything that happened that I almost wished they would have.
‘I think he is still asleep, so is it okay I will go back to Liam’s and tell them how he is? Will you call or texted me when he’s awake?’ Harry whispered.
I didn’t hear Louis answer, but I guess he agreed cause I heard the door open again.
‘One last thing Louis, be careful with him. Not only for his sake, but also for yours. I know you are falling for him and I don’t want neither of you to get even more hurt.’
I could hear how Louis took a deep breath, but before he answered Harry I could hear him closing my door. Louis breathed out and walked slowly to my bed. I really wanted to remain asleep, but I knew I was failing and I was right.
‘Niall, I know you are awake, and I’m sorry you heard that. Can you please open your eyes? I need to know that you are okay!!’ He placed his hand on my cheek and with his thumb he wiped away my tears.
I felt myself relaxing under his touch and that scared me, but I was done fighting it. Maybe I should let him in just a little bit.
I slowly opened my eyes but didn’t dare to look at him.
‘Niall’ he sighed, like a big relieve washed over him. ‘Oh, Niall come here.’ He lifted me up with the blankets and all and embraced me in a hug.
I let him and I wrapped my arms around his neck. I relaxed in his arms and inhaled his scent. Without thinking I placed my lips on the crook of his neck and gave him a kiss there.
‘Niall, what are you doing?’ He whispered.
But I didn’t listen and I kissed him again at the same spot. I kissed my way up and he gave me space by tilting is head. A quite moan left his lips and I captured them with my own.
Just when I wanted to deepen the kiss he gently pushed me away.
‘Niall, I really want to kiss you, I really do. But I don’t think we should do that right now.’
It was like he slapped me in the face, his rejection hurted more than anything else. I thought Harry said he was falling for me? He knew I heard him and he didn’t denied it.
I flew from his lap in an attempt to take an escape to the bathroom. But all the crying and the alcohol I had the day before made me weak. My knees buckled underneath me and I fell on the ground.
‘Niall!!’ Louis screamed in shock, he was by my side in a second.
‘Niall are you okay? Come on talk to me!’
'You don’t care Louis, you never did, don’t pretend you do. You are just playing with me. I can’t do this anymore.’ I cried.
‘Niall, if you think I stayed up comforting you for my own fun you are wrong, I do care about you!’
‘No you don’t! You don’t want to be here. You are just here so you can stop feeling guilty for treating me like you did. Please, can you just leave?’
'No no, it isn’t like that at all. Please believe me Niall!’ He begged. ‘Yes, I am feeling guilty how I treated you, I never should have done that, but I had my reasons, you know I had. I really do care about you. Do you really think I could comfort you like I did out of guilt? I am not leaving until you believe me!’
With that said he picked me up from the ground and placed me on the bed.
‘Leave me alone Louis, don’t touch me! You don’t care, nobody does. Why should anyone care about the stupid gay boy with his stupid dyed hair. Yes people pretend they care, but they just toss me a side when they are done with me. He tossed me aside.’ I whispered the last part.
‘Don’t you dare to ever think that about yourself again!’ He almost yelled.
’Your sexuality doesn’t define who you are Niall, neither does your hair, which is very cute on you if you ask me. The people who used you are stupid, they don’t deserve you! They don’t deserve such a lovely and caring guy. Cause that is what you are Niall. You are the person who always think about others first no matter what. And I want to be that person for you, I want to think about you first and put myself aside. That’s why I didn’t let you kiss me. I pushed you away because I care. I don’t want you to kiss to escape your feelings, I want you to kiss me because you really want to kiss me.’ At this point he was sitting next to me, holding my hands in his, staring in to my eyes.
I tried to look away, but I couldn’t. His eyes said more to me then words ever could. I knew at that point he was sincere about what he said.
‘Niall?’ He called me back to earth.
‘Huh what?’ I stuttered
‘Did you hear what I asked you?’ He smiled.
A blush crept on my face as I shook my head. Cause I didn’t hear him, I was too lost in his eyes, his beautiful blue eyes.
‘I asked you if you would like to go on a date with me.’
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