17. "Friends"

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This is how  I imagine Jimin at the end of this chapter

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"Are you my friend?" His voice is still burning inside of my brain, yet his body doesn't move an inch.

"What is this bullshit?" I yell.

My question gets ignored, while he speaks the same words again: "Are you my friend?"

The key to Jimin's trust, I believe, is patience. A lot of patience. One wrong movement, no matter how small it is, will set you back to the beginning, maybe even farther away.

With all in me, I hope I haven't given Jimin a reason to lose his trust in me. For as long as I've known him I've tried to shield him from any possible dangers.

Before I met Jimin and before he chose me as his psychologist, I used to have time for myself. Even though I never used that for anything special, it was nice to just be alone by choice.

Lately; neither do I have time, nor am I alone by choice. It feels like everyone leaves me, whenever they feel like it, which always happens to be at the worst timing ever. Then again; when is the right time to leave someone?

"Are you my friend?"

Haven't we gone through this already? "Jimin, let me help you."

I don't do too well with people raising their voices at me, or anyone around me. Having spent time with Jimin, I should be more passive to these things, but I am not.

Forget Jimin, working in an asylum should have made me immune, but no matter for how long I have worked here, I don't think I will ever learn to not react this way.

So when he roars "NO!" a gasp escapes my mouth. Putting one hand in front of my mouth, I turn my gaze down.

I'm so weak.

"Answer my question", he goes on, his voice almost sounding tender this time.

Not removing my eyes from his lifeless body, I press out a small "Yes."

I curse myself out for being scared of him. I want to be tough! I'm tired of being pushed around.

A gush of wind twirls past me, right before a hot breath appears next to my ear. "Would you risk your life for me?"

Is there anyone in this world I would risk my life for?

I'd do anything for Yoongi. I'd give him my all. But he wouldn't do the same for me.

Right after that thought crosses my mind, I curse at myself for being stupid again.

Yoongi has proven how much he cares about me time after time, yet here I am stepping on his generosity. This is probably why he left me; I didn't see his worth.

But then again, he never told me anything about himself or his life. He always wanted to know everything about me, and that pissed me off.

It's funny how I lately didn't think about him at all, but now when he has left me, I can't get him out of my head. It's probably true what they are saying; you don't know what you have, until it's gone.

When I became a psychologist my main goal was to pull up lost people from the dark hole and show them the light of life. This same goal remains as my number one wish of accomplishments. And if I have to risk my life in order for me to achieve this, then so be it. Of course. Why wouldn't I?

"In order to help you, I would."

It's true. I'm not even doubting.

"Can you stop saying that?" Another gasp escapes me. This time, it's not because of me being faint-hearted. He asks me if I can stop doing something. It is the first time I hear such words coming out from his mouth. "Stop saying you'll help me."

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