a/n: don't start the song yet. also im sorry. don't kill me.
josh's pov
after that night with tyler, it opened my eyes that i really need to be there for him. i can't believe he actually hurt himself. it pains me to see the boy i love, sad and broken.
i can't lose him.
>>
today i have another appointment with dr.carter. all of my other check ups have been okay, so i'm not really worried about this one.
i told mom that she didn't have to come, but she insisted that she be there. i mean that's mom's for you, they gotta be there for you.
i love my mom, she's so strong. she's been by my side this whole time with a smile on her face. i can't even thank her enough for everything.
the drive to the doctors was filled with mom and i singing our asses off. mom insisted that we sing something by Wham! because she loves George Michael. Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go blared through our speakers, it was the only song i knew beside Careless Whisper, but i kinda didn't want to sing that song with my mom.
after many awful high notes later, we arrived at the doctors office. we waited for about 10 minutes, then a nurse called my name.
i followed him to the physical room, where he did the basics; checking my weight, blood pressure, temperature, and all that nonsense.
a few minutes pass, and that's when dr.carter walked in.
"hey josh, how are you today?" dr.carter asked.
"i'm doing okay dr.carter, how are you?" i said.
"josh. we've been over this plenty of times already. call me ian, and i'm doing fine." ian said, while rolling his eyes. "anyways, your results are back from last time."
"good or bad?" i start tapping my legs, it was a nervous habit.
"well, it's not exactly good."
"what?" my heart rate increased. my heart felt like it was gonna go through my rib cage.
"so your cancer spread. the cells formed together and created a tumor close to your heart."
"a-a tumor?" i gulped.
"yes, a tumor. the good news is we spotted it quickly, meaning it's small and we can get rid of it before it grows any bigger."
"so-so is the tumor c-cancerous?"
"yes. it's called a malignant tumor, but for you, it's known as a metastasis because it spread from where you had cancer prior, so it's like the cancer you had before but now you have a tumor. if we don't get rid of it soon, more tumors can form. so it's best we get rid of it as soon as possible."
"what's gonna happen when you remove the tumor?"
"once the surgery is done, you have to do another session of chemo. this won't be as long, just a couple weeks till everything is out of your system."
"o-okay." my head was spinning, that was a lot to take in.
"the surgery can be in two weeks, that's when i'm free. are you okay with that?"
