Queen Bitch & The Bad Boy

35*Atlantis

Atlantis fell and no one saved it. The memories live with us but does anyone actually recall or know how it looks. Once it fell, it fell, taking all its glory and beauty with it, burying deeper into history.

Atlantis. My heart felt like that. The memories lived with me but no memories are seen. Just like the Lost City of Atlantis, my story buried within his and became history. Nothing is left of me, a shell had been replaced instead of Paris. I had given Jay all of me even Travis, Rose, Leo or Blake doesn't know about the things I did after my brother's death. They knew about Phoenix, most people did but no one knows that I cut myself and harmed myself because I was in deep depression. I was a shell.

My friends try, oh they try hard but fail miserably as I just smile, fake nonetheless but still a smile.

I tell them I'm okay but they just brush the excuse off like dust. My friends are everything, my girls. They became my everything and now I am theirs. I think I hit rock bottom when I began to sleep around again. Quinn shouted at me for heading to Jameson's house but what she didn't know is that nothing happened. With none of the boys. I didn't allow anything to happen.

But I let her shout at me because I feel less guilty. It's finals week next week and all I'm doing now is putting my head into the books and studying my ass off. However usually after school on Monday I will go to Starbucks with my girls but this time I went some place else.

My car park up into the desolate area with a few cars scattered around, unmoving. I get out the car, lock it up, before sauntering up the rundown rocky stairs. I pass throw the sturdy arch with vines crawling up the sides like serpents and the bushes of flowers that are half dead but as you venture deeper into the area you come to a cleaner, greener and livelier place.

Except it's not lively. And it's filled with dead people.

I sit, Indian style, in front of the granite gravestone with carved words saying:

In loving memory of
Phoenix Gold
1989-2000
A brother, a friend, a son, missed by all, now resting safe and at peace.
"The greatest sorrow was not living at all..." -P.G

I re-read the engraved words over and over, in my mind like a song on replay expect it's not a song and it's not on replay. I've just seen it so many times that I know it off by heart.

I exhale sharply as the a whisk of chill hits me, leaves tumbling across the ground while then scorching sun glitters in the cloudless sky. The graveyard is quite, dead silent but even in the faintest sound of wind, I can hear whispers of Phoenix speaking to me, taking back to that unfortunate day.

I tuck my legs into my chest, my arms curling around my legs and my hair flying around my face. I look down at my empty ring finger, the mark of where the promise ring once sat is still there and I have a feeling it won't go for a while. I take a deep breath before looking at the graveyard with a smile. Then I carry on the conversation I ended 2 years ago.

"Hey, Phee," I begin. "It's been a while since I last spoken to you. When I was sleeping and around and my heart was broken into millions of pieces. I came to talk to you about everything that went on but I left for 2 years because I was afraid to admit the truth and believe you."

My voice echoes through the wind, travelling far in distance. I look out, the graves going on and on for miles.

"Then I met him. Jay Stone." I smile at the thought of him. "He made my world a better place, he gave me a reason to keep trying. He was my reason but then we fell out a few days ago and I think we broke up."