Trance

Chapter Nineteen: Dreams and Desires

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"You look so sad today," Tina comments, dropping her bag beside my foot. She leans, her elbows on the table as she dips a fork into her pasta. "Is it because you ditched my amazing party?"

"I'm perfectly fine," I reply, my eyes gazing over my laptop screen. My eyes flicker to the open door once again, gearing the chatters of groups passing by. A familiar mop of pitch black hair walks by the door and for that moment, I hold my breath and nearly shout out with joy.

My eyes immediately fall back onto my laptop when I realize it isn't her. Where is she? She hasn't come yet and it's way past nine am.

"I know why! You're missing your assistant aren't you? Aka, your secret lover you don't want to tell us about," Tina laughs, stabbing another piece of meat along with her pasta.

I glare at her, taking in her vibrant yellow and white dress. It's too bright for my taste. Even the weather has sided with my mood - it's glum and rainy. On other occasions, I'll be fine with her chirpiness but today, it feels like another stab to the gut.

How can I enjoy her happiness when I don't even know if Matsya is safe? These are the only limited hours I can talk to her and now they've been snatched away from me as well. "Tina, I'm not in the mood," I sigh, rubbing forehead as I rest my elbow on the table.

Her bright yellow earings dangle as she takes a bite of the pasta. "Gosh, have you actually fallen in love? You're acting like a love struck teenager mixed with a whiny thirteen year old boy," She comments. Despite my constant grouchy mood, she still has sparks in her eyes.

"I haven't fallen in love!"

"Sure."

"I swear to God, I will get the guards to kick you out if you keep on doing this," I reply, my voice darkening with anger as I slap the laptop lid down. I grab a pencil out of the cup holder and ripped a piece of refill, intending to write down the number I just read. However, nothing comes out.

I just stare at the blank paper infront of me. All my mind does is scream Mastya. Amir is with her, someone who didn't even hesitant before breaking into my apartment. She's standing with him, thousands of miles away from me and the safety of this place.

With a groan, I cross my arms over the paper before slumping my head into it. "Gosh, you're so love sick it's kind of sad," Tina jokes. "Where is Mastya anyways?"

What do I tell her? The truth or the lies? In the end, I decide to tell her what I know. "I don't know," I say, my eyes closing in the darkness. Maybe I should sleep. Last night was filled with restlessness, of turning around in bed and getting up for no reason.

"Nirvaan." Her words sound soft as if she's trying to reassure me. Perhaps she could tell by my tone that it hurts I don't know where she is and what health she's in.

"I think I'm in love with her," I blurt out. I let myself peek out the walls I made and I see her smiling and shaking her head.

"I knew it! What's so wrong with it? You like her, she likes you -"

"And there's a third. Amir. Her boyfriend," I confess, trying to keep it close as I could to the truth without spilling all of Matsya's secrets. "He's super possessive."

"Oh."

I lean my head out of my barrier, using my hand to cup my face as I watch Tina. Her eyes remain on mine, forgetting about the pasta as she frowns. "She still likes you so you still have a chance," Tina shrugs. "Amrita was about to get married when she met me. Either way, she ended up with me."