Trance

Chapter 23: The Return of The Green Car

"What was Amir like? Before he went all creepy and controlling anyways?" I quiz, watching Matsya carefully. I pull on my seatbelt, tired of the way it digs into my stomach and shoulder. Matsya adjusts the review mirror, suiting it towards her needs. We had just switched over seats. Only a few minutes ago, I was driving instead of Matsya.

"He was a bit like you. He liked to read books, joke around and he lived his life like it was some romantic comedy even when it was a tragedy. He was never serious - until the incident where our parents died and he became someone else completely," Matsya explains, her tone soft. "He's quiet and controlling now. He knows everyone's secrets beforehand and his anger is uncontrollable -- the only person that's ever been able to control it was me."

"Did you just compare me to Amir?! Geez, most people compare people to the moon, roses and cute stuff while you compare me to a stalker Don who's trying to kill both of us," I complain, up turning my nose at Matsya. I dramatically sigh as I look away. "I can't even look at you now."

"I know you want to," Matsya says, her eyes fluttering towards mine with a smile. I look at her from the corners of my eyes as I cross my arms dramatically. After a few seconds of silence, I sigh once again and look at her with a shrug.

"Matsya," I say, her name rolling off my tongue quickly in a serious tone as I look at her features. "Did Amir truly love you? Or is he just obsessed with you?"

Matsya looks at me, her eyebrows knitting together as she tries to think of an answer. Her eyes move to the front after a second. "I don't really know," she confesses. "I think he may have in a twisted way. I was the only person that didn't entirely hate him or want him to be gone."

I turn down the radio slightly, watching her speak. "But he doesn't know how to be human. He's constantly controlling me, restricting everything I do, purposely pushing me into roads I don't want to go into, giving me bruises on my wrists when he tugs me away from going to work. He cut off all my options until my only option is him."

"That sounds terrible!"

"It is?" Matsya asks, raising an eyebrow. "You make it sound so much worse than it is. Amir wasn't that horrible. He'd sometimes take me out or buy me my favorite pack of ice creams."

"While continuously manipulating you into believing whatever he wanted. That's abuse, we've learnt about it in health like years ago," I start to say, my voice fading as I remember Tina sitting behind me in health, throwing paper balls at me whenever I ignored her. She was always bored in health, and needed to someone to talk to.

Matsya licks her lips, her eyes drifting over my face. "Are you okay? You seem kind of sad," she comments, tapping her nails on the steering wheel. I nod, pressing my lips together before I start thinking of Matsya instead of Tina. "And I don't think mine and Amir's relationship was abusive. We knew each other for years!"

The scenery of the beautiful green trees and forestry sudden merges into grey slabs of stone. Lines of yellow follow us into a dim cave, where I can barely see Matsya and my eyes can only remain on the road. "People in abusive relationships often don't believe they're in abusive relationships 'till after the relationship," I comment.

I could see Matsya's brief outline of a shadow shrug. I focus on the darkness of the road, remembering how when I was younger I used to be afraid of spiders in my bed. "When I was a kid, I used to make my younger brother scan my entire room for spiders. I used to be afraid that spiders would eat me alive while I sleep," I chuckle.

Matsya joins in. "I used to be afraid of swimming and ponds. Amir once accidentally pushed me into the pool and in the end, he was forced to rescue me. After that, I was afraid of water and swimming," she confesses. The beginning of light begins to drift over our car, shining as Matsya's phone starts to ring.