Becoming Beautiful

Chapter 6 I need you

*Chapter 6 "I need you"*

*Allie's P.O.V*

A terrible weight was on my shoulders. It was as if a giant boulder was laid on me and I couldn't straighten up or even catch me breath entirely. A single tear rolled down my cheek. I should have been crying, but I was too numb to even think about crying. There was a giant hole in my heart and I knew nothing would ever be the same. I look like death. I don't even care right now. My eyes were puffy from crying because I couldn't stop crying for the last three days. I was dehydrated, and sore. Sobs racked her body, no one should be able to cry this hard. I didn't even cried this hard when my mom had died. Rejected, I'm not wanted. I stepped outside and the breeze hit my face. It felt good to be outside knowing you can be free with your own thoughts. Nobody to look at you or laugh. Just you and your not so lovely thoughts. I try to think of anything but Kyle. Everything I try to think about that isn't him, slips away from me and I'm back to square one. Kyle. I turn around and see Jax and Max standing behind me.

"Oh, how long have you been standing there?" I asked.

"Eh, not that long. Maybe 3 minutes. Calm down. We are not that creepy," Max said smirking. Jax shoved Max aside.

"Listen Allie, we didn't come here to sway you any type of way, I'm just going to tell you how it is and you are going to listen, okay?" Jax said walking towards me. I nodded my head and waited.

"Kyle is a mess. He's about to be benched for the whole season. You know what he did yesterday? He skipped football practice and when his coach asked why, he told him that he didn't know if he wanted to play anymore. He loves football. Then, I texted him when I got home to see if he was alright and he avoided the question and said he had things to do. At school, he doesn't smile like he used to. He walks around alone and every time someone tries to talk to him, he comes up with some kind of excuse to leave. He's not himself, Allie, and you're not yourself. You are my friend and everything, but you need to learn to forgive and forget because he did nothing wrong. You're changing yourself and no one likes it. You can change everything about yourself, but you will always be the same person on the inside. You can't fake who you are forever," he said looking at me. I just stood there. It was like I just got hit in the face and I couldn't move. My eyes started watering and I just broke. Jax sat beside me and I layed my head on his shoulder.

"I'm not who I want to be Jax. I want to be different than who I am. I want to be pretty. I want to have a nice face and I want everyone to like me. I don't want people saying all the mean things they say. And I want Kyle to be my friend," I said.

"Allie, he is your friend. Just talk to him," he said looking behind me. I turned around and Kyle was standing there. Jax and Max walked inside and left us alone. It was quiet for a few. He looked exhausted, like he hasn't slept in weeks.

"Well, are you gonna talk. Usually you're the one to talk first," I said rolling my eyes.

"Oh right. Um, Allie, I miss you. You don't know how hard it has been knowing that I couldn't talk to you. I want you to know that I NEVER said that you were just a tool to me. The truth is, I was going to yell at you that day for not telling me about the post. Instead, it didn't go as I planned it to. I need you," he said looking at me. I walked up to him. Without saying anything and I hugged him. Everything that I was worried about before went away and I felt complete again.

Who knew that the one person I pushed away was the one I needed the most. Why does it have to be you? Of everyone in this school. It has to be you that I need. Why? Why is it hard for me to live without you? Why does my life fall apart when I push you away? Why do I need to have you so close in order for me to relax and be me? Why? He hugged me back.