The Marauders: Year Five #Wattys2017

Because of All That You Are

Because of All That You Are

"Dissilio!"

The spell shot from Remus's wand, striking the clock and with an echoing burst of sound, the clock shattered with a bright-blue light that was so brilliantly bright that it was almost unreal, and the shafts of light shot in all directions, the energy of the explosion making them all take a couple steps back - James stepping protectively to the left so that Lily and Peter were both blocked by his own body... Sirius raised his arms to cover his own head and Remus squinted against the light.

Cogs and springs and clock hands blasted through the air, stinging as they clipped Remus's skin on their way to the ground. The pendulum flew off, too, and Remus ducked as it went by... turning to see where it'd gone and that was when he heard a voice behind him.

"Remus."

His heart raced.

Slowly, he turned around.

Lyall Lupin stood before him, vaguely transparent and a bit shivery about the edges but there, in his nice blue suit. Remus's breath left him as he stared into the eyes of his father - standing lankier and thinner than Remus remembered, though he recognized the fact that it was probably less that Lyall looked different than it was that Remus himself was of a different stature, was seeing Lyall from a vantage of height as he'd never done before. As though to emphasize this thought, Lyall Lupin smiled tremulously, looking his son from head to foot and nodding in approval, "My, my.... Just look how tall you've gotten since I've last seen you!"

Remus stared, still unsure what to say, even now, even facing his father.

Lily, Sirius, James, and Peter hovered behind, all wide-eyed, staring up at Lyall Lupin in disbelief.

Lyall reached out a shaking, half transparent palm and gently ran his hand across his son's face... and then brought up the other hand, until he was cupping his cheeks in both palms. "My son... why are you crying?"

Remus's face was crumpled, "Because I don't want to waste my time with you, but I don't know what to say, either... I'm sorry."

Lyall smiled and he said, "It isn't you who should be sorry, Remus."

Remus's breaths came out in thick puffs, his chest constricting. "What should I be?"

"You're you, that's all that you ever need to be." Lyall stroked his son's face softly. "I was a fool, Remus. A fool and a coward. You deserved better than the way I treated you... you always did. I always doubted you but you've shown me that I was wrong for doubting you, for thinking less of you for being who you are... and, worst of all, I was wrong for making you doubt and think less of yourself. I am sorry, my son."

Remus shivered. He stared into his father's eyes, his hands still cupped about his face. "Father, I miss you," he choked out the words.

Lyall's hands trembled, "I'll always be here... in your heart. I'm a part of you, after all. Me and your mother both... We're in your heart, Remus, always."

"But I miss you being here, for real... I miss you being --" Remus couldn't see for the tears in his eyes, couldn't speak for the sob trapped in his throat and he stopped mid-sentence.

"Shh, my boy." Lyall swept his thumbs over Remus's tears.

"I'm sorry."

"You've nothing to be sorry for."

Lyall's hands slipped from Remus's face and Remus panicked, "NO!" he yelled, "No! Don't go yet, I'm not finished, please. Just a few more minutes. Please!!" He reached out and grabbed for his father's hands but his hands passed through them like they weren't even there, like they were smoke and a cold went through Remus unlike any he'd ever felt before. He tripped to his knees before the spirit and Sirius jumped forward, yanking the sweater from 'round his waist and putting it over Rey's shoulders as he knelt beside him. "DON'T GO YET!" Remus shouted.