The Marauders: Year Five #Wattys2017

The Darkness in Me

The Darkness In Me

Sirius had a nightmare that night. It was the first in sometime. He shook in his sleep, thrashing his limbs and whimpering. "No, no... please..." his voice whimpered, a bit broken up as he quaked. "Please... No."

Remus woke with the movement. He rolled over and shook Sirius awake gently, "Padfoot... Padfoot... Sirius... it's me, c'mon, hey wake up, it's me, Remus. It's Moony." He stared into Sirius's face as he struggled to focus up at him and his face went from one of terror filled panic to absolute sadness. His eyes filled up with tears.

"Moony." He clutched onto Remus, sitting up so that their torsos pressed together and he started crying, great silent heaves that were all wet with spittle and tears and he pressed his face into Remus.

"Blimey..." Remus murmured, rubbing his back. "Shhh... it's alright. Whatever it is can't hurt you - it's only a dream, my love. Only a dream." He pressed his cheek to Sirius's hair, which was just about an inch long now - having been two months since the incident in the boys' toilet. It wasn't shorn and ugly any longer, it was thick and black and short - similar to a style that a lot of the boys had, so at least it no longer stood out as glaringly horrible as it had done when McGonagall had given him the cap. Sirius was still self concious about it, always being self depricating over the shape of his jaw or the curve of his ears, but Remus thought it was nice and the hair coming in was soft yet spikey against his chin when he leaned into him like this and it smelled fresh, like Sirius's shampoo. He closed his eyes as he breathed in the smell of him, rocking him gently as he continued to heave and cry into Remus's shoulder.

Rey wanted to talk to him, to get whatever was bothering him out. He knew if Sirius kept it bottled up it would only return, whatever this nightmare was, but he didn't want to wake James and Peter up, either. "Here, let's go down to the Trophy Room Passageway, you want to?" Remus whispered quietly.

Sirius nodded against him.

So Remus got up and bundled himself up, tugging on a pair of thick wool socks and an extra sweater and Sirius pulled his black boots on right over his pyjamas, and together they snuck out of the dormitory, leaving James and Peter asleep, and snuck through the common room, carrying the folded up map. In the corridor, Remus drew his wand and whispered, "I solemnly swear I am up to no good," and tapped the parchment. The web of corridors rooms blossomed across the map, scrawling words and tiny moving feet that indicated where everyone was. Most of the names were jumbled up messes about the common rooms, the students all in their beds... Although Dumbledore was pacing about the Headmaster's Office - and Alistor Moody was up there with him... and there was Mr. Filch and Mrs. Norris down on the third floor, where Peeves was doing something zooming about the Defense classroom... Remus carefully tucked his arm around Sirius's shoulder and pulled him along toward the stairs to the sixth floor.

Sirius held fast to Moony and his great bulking sweaters. He drew a deep breath, his eyes sore from crying and that sort of tired that comes when you don't get proper rest. Remus's arm was solid and good and Sirius wished more things in his life were as reliable and safe as Remus Lupin's arm.

When they'd reached the little alcove off the passageway, several minutes later, Remus pulled Sirius down on the couch and wrapped a blanket over their heads so they sat there with their legs all folded up, facing one another under this sort of blanket fort, illuminated solely by Remus's lit wand. Remus held Sirius's hands in his, and stared into his eyes a long moment. "My love, tell me about your dream."

Sirius stared at the stitching of the quilt that covered them, his eyes unfocused, as though seeing something far, far away. "It's the dementors, Rey... I think I can feel them in my bones, lurking about out there."