false alarm - g.d

38//Grayson

Ethan
Today 2:12 AM

Ethan?

Yeah?

I miss her
She doesn't want anything to do with me

Did you explain
Like the situation

She didn't believe me
I'm really fucking pissed off
Someone tapped into my fucking phone

How do you know this?

There are messages that I don't remember writing to people

Dude are you drinking?

No
I stopped that day after our birthday
After Sahar saw me like that

You completely stopped?

Yeah
I stopped my dirty habits for her

And you said you didn't love her 😹
Youre really tragic dude

Look I get it
I love her
And I fucking lost her
Quit rubbing it in

Fight for her
Girls love that
Shit I would love for someone to fight for me

.......
Okay
I should show up to her house

And what?
And hold a juke box
Playing some corny ass music ?
You gonna throw rocks at her window

You're a real fucking asshole

just try to talk to her
Start over if you have too

***

I threw the iPod , and it slides against the table hitting the wall. My first slams down on the wood, and I wish that it gave me some sort of pain. Anything. I wasn't going to drink again, no matter how much I wanted to feel the burn in my throat, but I couldn't. Jack was out there and I didn't think it was bright to get drunk.

My carving that me and Sahar did rested on the corner. I watched it carefully before bringing it to me. All my followers loved this work, thought it was different from my usual dark sexual self. I picked it up and walked to my living room, setting it onto the mantle. I went to the door and made sure it was locked before sitting down on my couch and opening my laptop.

Maybe I could start off with a buying her a ring. A promise ring, hopefully she won't throw it away or stomp on me for giving it to her. Believe it or not I'm crushed. I never knew someone so small and so soft could make me feel like a piece of shit.

I didn't care if I hurt someone's feelings, I never did. Especially the girls I would fuck with. They would catch feelings and I would tell them that I'm not going to fuck with them anymore.

I know I screwed up. For sure. I don't know how to use the phrase I love you. My mom and dad passed away early so I didn't get to hear the phrase that much as a kid and the foster system... you don't get love.

I never will.

But I'm willing to try. Just for her.