Meeting Ryker / BoyxBoy / Extremely melodramatic

Chapter Seventeen (Other Half)

Chapter Seventeen. 

Can I still get into heaven, if I kill myself? 

Ryker and Rems. 

I was idle. Because, Rems and I, were nothing. Nothing was happening. He was sitting in the grass beside me, writing on a notepad he found in the car. I watched him silently as he wrote the poem I knew he'd been waiting to write for sometime. It's called 'Asleep.'

'Asleep

You watch my every move 

But say nothing of sorts

You linger around me day by day

And still let me lay still

You keep me broken 

I would have never awoken

I would have been okay with that

You could of removed the machines

Said no to the doctors and given up on me 

Oh why the hell didn't you

I'm insane with two people in a head meant for one

And voices of a person you shouldn't ever hear

Why couldn't you bear me this

A life asleep.'

He wrote it based on my last od. A bit before he killed my only friends. The reason I got into the m.h. I watched as he finished and let out a sigh long and deep. The kind of sigh that's been built up through years of sadness and exhaustion of it. Sighs I try never to reveal. Cause' I tell everyone, I myself, is healed. You can tell I'm not. 

"Do me a favor, Ryker."

"What kind of favor?"

" A simple, easy one." He said giving me the poem. "Kill me."

I let the piece of paper fall into my hands before setting it beside my aching body. 

I didn't say anything back.

A part of me has wanted that for much longer then Rems has ever existed. And another part of me had hope. I try to focus on that part.

"Ryker, let me put it into perspective for you." He began, again. "You wouldn't have to deal with me anymore. And you'd have what you've been wanting for a while now, peace." Is he persuading me to kill myself, or something else?

"Something else." oh yeah me and him are the same person. 

"I've made your heart bitter so that letting go will be easier." 

"So, I really do love Danny?"

"Sadly. Im always around you medication or not, and ill change you till I get what I want."

"Hah, fuck that! Healed or not, I'm staying alive." I yelled loud, louder then I have in a while. Too much anger in one body. 

"You know that cut on your arm? And the three others that looked like a scratch." He quoted the last word of his statement with his fingers sarcastically. I nodded. 

"Well, the three were sleep walking. You not only do that awake, but dozed too. I helped for all of em'. Thanks too me, you'll be scarred till the day you stop breathing." He cleared his throut. "I mean we."