Itazura Na Kiss- Eternal Love Story

#5 Decision

(Kotoko POV)

I turned my back at Irie-kun after he joined me in the bed. I was still dazed. Did this just really happen? Did Irie-kun say that he loved me? Did he kiss me while I was supposedly asleep... twice? Probably he knew I'm not sleeping. He knows definitely. I am sorry Irie-kun I cannot respond to you. I am afraid I might cry and tell you everything that I need to hold in for now and probably for forever. But why did he apologize to me? Everything he said today was true. I was just too blind to see it. It should be I who should be sorry to him. This is not only about today. I have been imposing on him for a very long time now. Come to think of it. I have been imposing on him since he knows me. He even fell in love with me because I was stuck on him like a gum in the hair! Then our wedding was not like he wanted. It was forced on him. He wanted to wait till we graduate. I know he doesn't regret that. I know he loves me. I know he will choose me over his career... his whole life. That is exactly what I don't want to happen. I never want me to be a problem in his life. Some tears fell from my eyes. No no no I cannot cry now. He shouldn't know I'm crying. He will feel bad. I don't want him to feel bad. I was wrong today. How could I come today? How could I forget about his exams? I swallowed the sobs. If I tell about my illness to him now, he will leave Kobe with me right now. Forget the exams he might even stop being a pediatric, which is his dream and switch to Neurology. Yeah I'm sure he will do that. A small smile appeared on my lips. But I would never let this happen. I would give up my life any time for him. I want him to be happy... always... with me... or without me... either way he should stay happy.  

That night I didn't sleep at all. And for some reason, I had the feeling that neither did Irie-kun.

Irie-kun left early in the morning while I pretended to be asleep. I got down from the bed after a while in the empty house. I freshened up and changed my pajamas. I had slight fever and the body ache was back. But it was sustainable. Even if it wasn't, I wouldn't have cared anyway. I needed to leave before Irie-kun returns. I didn't have the courage to face him anymore. I have to run away if I want to hide everything. Well that wasn't the only thing I was leaving for. I originally came for 1 night only just to inform him and see him. My assignment is due tomorrow morning and if I don't attend the class, Tomoko will fail with me and I cannot let this happen. I decided to leave him a note instead of texting as he has exam today and worrying about me during his exams is the last thing I wanted. I took a pen and a paper from his desk. I thought for a while what to write and decided to keep it simple.

After leaving the note I went towards the door. I looked around the apartment again. This could be the last time I see this. My heart gave a jolt. Everything I do now could be my last. I suddenly realized it. It made me want to see Irie-kun one last time badly. But I controlled myself. I already gave him enough troubles. I signed out into the reception before I left the building. I looked back for the last time then started walking towards the station. On the way I had my breakfast in a cafe and brought some medicine from a pharmacy for my flu. I had to wait for the train for a while in the station. I went to a deep sleep after the journey began. I was so tired that I only woke up after the train reached Tokyo. My head was dizzy and my temperature was high. I slowly walked home.

"I'm home." I said from the door. Oka-san ran to me with a big smile on her face.
"Kotoko-chan, how was your trip?" she asked but as soon as she noticed me clearly she said, "What's wrong? Are you okay?"
I smiled at her. "I got the flu I think."
"Oh no. Go and quickly change. I will get you some porridge." She moved towards kitchen. I smiled at her. She is just too nice I thought.
I went upstairs. I washed up and changed then went to bed.
I checked my phone and saw a missed call from Irie-kun. He must have called while I was asleep in the train. I didn't know if he was busy now or not. So I didn't call back. He will eventually find the note at home and will call back I thought. I ate the porridge oka-san cooked for me and then went to sleep. I woke up when the phone rang. I checked the time; it was 4:10 pm. I knew who it was before I saw the caller id.  

.............

(Naoki POV)

I got down from the bed at 6 am. I wasn't sure anymore if she was awake or sleeping. I prepared to leave for the collage without making any noise. I left at 7 am. I couldn't take her out of my mind for a single moment the whole day. Even during exam she worried me from time to time. At lunch time I called her just to check up on her. But she didn't receive. It stung. But I didn't have much time to ponder on it as a professor called me in that time for a discussion. I returned home after 4 pm. I was thinking about how to apologies for yesterday without encouraging her to repeat this again. I entered and shut the door behind. I noticed Kotoko's shoe was missing at the entrance. I stood still for a second. 'She surely didn't left?' I rushed inside. I checked my room, the bathroom and the kitchen. She wasn't anywhere. I dropped my bag on the table and pulled out the phone to call her. Suddenly I saw it. A note was stuck under our photo frame. I pulled it out and read it.

'I am going back to Tokyo. Stay well and eat well and do your best in the exams.
I am really sorry again.
I love you.

Kotoko'

I read the note again. The stung in the heart was back. I stood still for some moment as my heart beat faster than it should and then called her. The phone rang for a few numbers of times. I thought she wouldn't receive but she did.

"Hello?" She sounded sleepy. 'She was sleeping?' I was surprised.
"Hello Kotoko, where are you?" I asked urgently.
"Irie-kun, I'm back to Tokyo. I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier. But I have an important class tomorrow which I need to attend." She said.
"Are you home now? And what class?" I felt a bit irritated. She already skipped today's class. What was so important about tomorrow?
"Yes I am. Tomoko and I did a group assignment which is due tomorrow morning. If I don't show up the teacher will mark us both as failed." She sneezed. 'Assignment?' I wondered.
"Are you ill?"
"I got the flu. I had the porridge oka-san cooked and took the flu medicine, so it should be fine." She sneezed again.
"Hmm." I was quiet. I was still wondering about her assignment when she asked.
"How was your exam?"
"It was fine. Better than I expected."
"That's a relief. Well done." That statement clearly said she was worried that she would make me fail my exam.
"Didn't you come to Kobe for your assignment Kotoko?" I asked her dreading the answer. I suddenly remembered she never mentioned about assignment. She only showed me a white color file but I refused to check its contents. She was quiet for a moment. Probably was deciding what to answer.
"I came to see you." Her answer was simple.
"What was in that white file then?" My heart beat even faster. Another moment of silence passed. I am such an idiot!
"Just an excuse to see you. It was nothing important." Her answer ran cold chill through my spine. I was sure thatthis answer was an excuse, not the file. She sneezed again. I was silent.
"Irie-kun?"
"Kotoko, I am sorry. If that was anything important..."
"No it wasn't. Trust me! I wouldn't have left if it was important. Anyway you should rest now. You must be tired. You didn't sleep much yesterday."
"Neither did you." I said before I could stop myself.
"I slept in the train for nearly 6 hours. Also now for an hour here at home. Don't worry about me."
"I'm not worried." I said but immediately I added "Oka-san is with you." For some reason I couldn't taunt her now as I always do. She laughed.
"Okay, talk to you later then." I decided to drop the white file matter for now. She will share herself once she feels like it.
"Right, bye."
"Bye." I cut the connection.