Itazura Na Kiss- Eternal Love Story

#18 An Attempt

(Naoki POV)

One week passed. Kotoko remained super busy during the entire week. I also got busy after joining Tonan. The doctor profession is always demanding. There is almost no free time to socialize. Kotoko and I only met each other during breakfast or sometimes at dinner. Once or twice she even left before I came down for breakfast.

I couldn't help getting the feeling that she was avoiding me on purpose. Well, it wasn't just because of the breakfast, but also because she started to do her studies downstairs in otou-san's library again. She sometimes did that before if she was angry at me or we weren't talking to each other. But it was never without a reason. She loved having my presence around her all the time. But that doesn't seem to be the case anymore.

According to her, she moved there because she required larger space for her studies as she messes up all her papers. Also she works till late hence she didn't want to disturb my sleep. That was true. She studied like crazy the entire week. Even in the first weekend after I returned she stayed busy with studies. When oka-san inquired why we weren't going out she said she had to study. She even did the evening duties.

I was wondering if she was even getting enough sleep. She goes to hospital very early at the morning and returns late. After dinner she studies and then when she sleeps, she keeps waking up due to bad dreams. It looks like she gets lots of them. Sometimes I also wake up with her. Either because she calls my name or oka-san, which I assumed to be her mother, as she never elaborated any of her dreams to me or when she trips over something into the dark room trying to go out in the kitchen downstairs.

Kotoko used to dream when she slept all the time. But those were always happy dreams. She smiled, giggled, talked, scolded, even hugged and kissed me in her sleeps while dreaming. But this is the first time I'm seeing her getting scared and even in tears. Sometimes she would cry out, frightened. I tried to pull her into hugs whenever she was having a nightmare to soothe her but she always awakes and pulls away. I asked her a million times what they were about but she avoids my questions and only says they are nothing important and they weren't scary and she was fine.

She never hid her fears from me. But again, that doesn't seem to be the case anymore. Something is giving her a hard time but she doesn't want to open up to me. I wonder what could have gone so wrong. She seems so distant. It's like she is fading away from me. That feeling is terrifying. I didn't want to experience that ever. Kotoko blocking me out of her life is the scariest feelings I ever had.

...

(Kotoko POV)

I didn't go to work today. I just asked Hana to take the permission instead of me to stay off duty for the day. I didn't want things to get worse with Irie-kun. I didn't want him to suspect anything yet, especially not after yesterday night.

It's already a week and a half since Irie-kun returned. I know I should have already told him everything by now but I just couldn't bring it up. Instead I kept avoiding him in every way. I know he wasn't dumb enough not to notice. I know he was hurt and anxious due to this. I know he was getting more and more worried. But I just didn't know how to break the news to him out of the blue. The closest I got to talk about this matter was yesterday night. I went upstairs instead of going to study after dinner like I did the previous week and half. I was fully prepared to tell him everything until I entered the room and he looked up at me with surprise. But he composed himself pretty fast.

"Hi..." I said awkwardly.

Hi? Why couldn't I start the conversation more naturally? I paused mentally slapping myself.

"What's up?" He looked back at me as I sat on the bed behind the desk-chair he was sitting.

"Nothing." I shrugged. "You seem busy." I stated, eyeing the stack of papers on the table.