By chance (BTSxREADER)

Grief

Nikki's POV:

*Ring ring* stupid alarm! 5:30 AM.....UGH! 

I went to the washroom to freshen up and changed into my sports bra and shorts. I grabbed a hoodie and ran downstairs. Nobody was awake yet. I quietly left the house and went for my usual run.

I usually collected my thoughts on these runs, I like organising my thoughts. That way I always have less to worry about.

After an hour I went back home and found Jimin outside on the porch reading a magazine. He saw me and flashed me a big smile. He's so cute! I can confidently say that I got 7 amazing friends this past month. They're such great guys, funny, talented, charming, goofy, weird you name it. 

I walked towards him and we both went inside. We were welcomed with the smell of bacon and eggs. yum!

I quickly took a shower and went down to eat breakfast. "Where's tae?" i asked. I hadn't seen him all morning.

"Ummm you wont see much of him today...." jungkook replied. I gave them a confused look.

"Tomorrow is his grandma's death anniversary. He usually spends these two days quietly and doesn't talk much or do anything." Jin hyung explained.

But Tae is always so cheerful and happy... yea in the beginning he was a bit shy and reserved in front of me but then after a while he opened up and is so hyper!! Always jumping up and down and happy and excited. It sounds a bit off that he would shut himself out like this.

"He's a very strong guy. His grandma was everything to him. He still misses her and feels guilty that he couldn't be with her more often." Hobi hyung said.

After breakfast I went up to my room and got dressed for work. Before leaving I stopped by Tae's room. *Should I enter? No I shouldn't..... Maybe I should, right? Right.*

I knocked the door twice. "Come in!!"

I slowly creaked the door open and popped my head inside. "hey"

"Oh Hi Nikki...What's wrong?, He smiled softly.

"N-Nothing, umm I didn't see you all morning so i just thought I'd come say bye before leaving for work" , I nervously smiled.

"Oh, sorry i was just caught up with something. I'll see you when you get back I guess. Bye", He waved at me.

And with that i closed the door and left. I kept thinking about Tae, he looked so sad and depressed.

Work was stressful as always. So many problems and running around to fix everything really puts a toll on you. I was exhausted, but I had to finish my work. It was pretty late when I got back home. I was parking the car upfront when my phone rang. 'unknown number'  huh?

"hello?"

"hello? Nikki?" Oh My God!!! Andy......

"ANDY??? WHAT THE HELL?? DIDN'T I TELL YOU NOT TO CALL ME!!!!!!!"

"Nikki please just listen to me! I just wanna talk to you! I miss you! I did a horrible mistake... It's been over a month can't we at least talk it out once?"

"I don't wanna talk about anything! Please leave me alone and don't call me ever again.Otherwise I'll block your number!" And I hung up. I was burning up, I can't believe that guy! I saw that I had a few missed calls from Jimin and Jin hyung. It was 8:30 so i guess they were worried.

I went inside and was greeted by worried looks.... "Where were you? We tried calling you so many times!" Hobi hyung said.

"I was caught up with work, I'm sorry.. I just saw your missed calls."

I asked them about Tae and how he was doing.  "He hasn't left the room since morning except for eating something and going to the bathroom." Yoongi hyung said while walking off into the kitchen. 

"Don't worry.. he'll be fine in a day or two" Jin hyung assured me. But I couldn't help but be worried. Why on earth would Tae spend his halmoni's death anniversary like this? Wouldn't she feel sad if she saw this? 

I got changed and went into Tae's room. I didn't bother knocking. I just barged in because I was pissed. He looked startled and looked at me with his eyes widened.

"What do you think you're doing?!" I asked. that just confused him more.. obviously! "huh???" he furrowed his eyebrows.

"Do you really think this is how you're supposed to be spending your halmoni's death anniversary? By sulking around like this and being depressed?!"

"Listen Nikki, I know you're concerned but leave me be, please. You don't understand how I feel." He said and looked away.

"What if I do? When my grandma passed away, I wasn't there beside her... I couldn't even attend her funeral because I had my final exams at the time and I wouldn't have been able to take a re-exam. I spent days, no , Months crying! I was miserable! I took her for granted and never got to tell her the things I wanted. But every year on her death anniversary, I spend it doing things she loved. I ate the food she always used to make for me and go to places she loved going to. I write her letters and send it to the sky just for my satisfaction thinking that it might reach heaven and she'll read it. I get some kind of peace of mind like that."

All he did was look down and shake his head. "I can't do that Nikki... I feel guilty being happy on the day she left."

"Why on earth would you think that?! She loved you! She would be looking at your situation right now and being so upset. Shutting yourself out from everything for two days and sulking and moping around all day....How would any of this make her rest in peace?"

"Then what do you want me to do??? huh?! " he raised his voice a bit. I looked at him softly.

"Talk to me, tell me what your grandma was like. What did she like doing? What was her favorite food? Where did she like going to the most? Her interests, her hobbies, anything" I said as i sat down on his bed and tapped the bed motioning for him to sit next to me. He hesitantly sat next to me and hung his head low.

"She loved nature.......gardening and going to the lake. She loved to eat soon du bu and used to make it all the time. She used to always watch stars outside our home and point at different stars and tell me the names of each one. I never understood anything but it used to be so peaceful all the time. She loved animals and because of that even I grew fond of them. There's so much more.." He sighed sadly. 

"Your grandma liked to do a lot of things my grandma liked too.. " I said and chuckled. He smiled sadly and continued playing with his fingers. "taehyung? I'll tell you what, tomorrow we'll do all the things your grandma liked. Remember her the right way and celebrate her life."

"I dunno Nikki... I- " "NO! No buts!! We're going to lake tomorrow early morning. So you better wake up!" 

"But.." He sulked,  "I said no buts! Now come down for dinner." And with that I left the room.

He came down for dinner and ate with us. Everyone was pretty surprised and looked at me questioningly. I just smiled and them and shook my head.

Before going to bed I called my boss and told him I wouldn't be able to make in for work.

I really hope he's fine by tomorrow......