This isn't happening! #wattys2017

Why am i feeling funny?

A month went by in a flash.
Miranda was in her office, busy looking trough a spreadsheet playing with a pencil.
"Miranda, your Dad is looking for you" she heard in the intercom.
"Thanks Stacey, tell him I'll be there in a couple minutes"
"OK"
Miranda rose from her seat, wearing one of her office outfits, a black pencil skirt, a white cotton blouse and a black jacket, with her hair into a tight bun, and her black paste frame glasses.
"Poster child for the uptight" Nanny used to tease her.
But those were the clothes Miranda felt comfortable in, ever since she started working for the family company.
"It's a shark tank Kiddo" her father used to say.
And she knew he wasn't exaggerating, she had been to enough of his fathers business dinners and work meetings growing up, she bared witness to multimillion dollar deals discussed and agreed over glasses of scotch, careers propelled by a success, and destroyed under one failure.
So, that attire, her work clothes, turned into her armor, no one could frighten her or prevent her success in those clothes.
She started walking down the Hall, headed to the biggest office in the whole building, her father's office.
She knocked a couple times, before she heard her father's voice.
"Come in"
Once she entered, she saw her father seated in his big chair, as usual, and a man sitting on one of the chairs across from his desk, and she knew exactly who it was.
"Hi Miranda" he greeted her with a big smile.
"Hello Will" she replied coldly "dad, you asked for me?"
"Yes, princess, I need you to take a look at this project that Will just brought in, I want to know what you think about it" he said, while handing her a rather fat portfolio.
She took it without saying anything, she looked at him with a blank stare, thinking that she was being forced to have the "don't call me princess or kiddo in front of strangers" talk with him, yet again.
"Will is no stranger, he's practically family" he told her the last time.
"Practically but not really" she replied, not really, and not in a million years, if she had a say in the matter.
Her father had tried to throw them together for years, inviting him to family dinners and company parties,in hopes of pairing them.
All was futile though, Miranda never had an interest on getting to know him, there was something about him that she just didn't like, although she could never quite pinpoint what that was.
And he was handsome, tall, educated, polite, and attentive with her, but still never could crack Miranda's "acquaintance" status, she never even gave him a chance to become her "friend".
"If I give in, soon he's gonna ask for more " she thought, and never, ever since, has she given him an opening, not once, not ever.
The curious thing is, he has never stopped trying, she initially believed that after a few times, he'd get the message, and back off, but he didn't, he still sends her flowers on her birthday, still compliments her at the outfit she wears, despite it being almost identical everyday, and Miranda finds it perplexing, not as to why he's interested, that much is obvious, she is to inherit the company once her father passes away, but still, that much rejection should have made it obvious is useless by now, surely he isn't dumb enough to hope for anything at this point right?.
"Miranda, can I take you for a drink sometime?" Will asked.
"Sometime" she responded without any emotion, trying to not sound rude to him in front of her father "but not today, one of these days"
"One of these days" he repeated, but with a tone that made it obvious he wasn't talking about drinks.
"Is that all, dad?" Miranda asked.
"Yes princess, that's all"
Miranda launched a glaring look at him, he did it again, and without saying anything, she left, annoyed as per usual when those two were in the same room as her at the same time.
"Hang in there, she'll come around" Mr. Hawthorn said.
"I'm not so sure anymore" he confessed "but I'll keep trying"
"Let's just hope" Mr. Hawthorn finalized.

Back at her office, Miranda wasn't feeling well, a little discomfort arose while in her fathers office, but she just thought it was her body's aversion to Will kicking in, but once back, the discomfort only grew.
Stacey, Miranda's assistant came in with her cup of coffee, right on schedule.
"Are you OK Miranda?" She asked "you don't look so good"
"I'm feeling a little dizzy" she replied, as she laid on her chair.
"Maybe you should take the rest of the day, just to make sure you don't come up with anything" Stacey suggested.
Normally, Miranda would have dismissed such an idea right away, ever since she started there, she never had a single absence, and she always said she would never had one.
But this time, it was different.
Miranda felt really awful, and the idea proposed by Stacey was getting more appealing by the second.
"You know what, I think you're right, maybe once I get some fresh air, this will just go away" she said.
She picked the phone and dialed.
"Dad" she said.
"Yes, princess?"
"I think I'm gonna take the rest of the day off, if that's OK with you, I'll get back to you about that portfolio tomorrow, I'll check it out tonight"
"Sure princess, but, are you OK?, is everything alright?"
"Everything is fine dad, just need some fresh air"
"OK princess, take care, love you"
"Love you too dad, bye"
As she hung up, she took a look at the clock on her Computer.
"Hmmm its not even three o'clock" she whispered "I wonder if those skanks are busy at this hour" , then a malicious smile came to her face "dumb question, as if those two had anything to do"
She grabbed her phone and dialed.
"Skank?" She asked.
"What is it, Prude?" was the immediate response.
"I'm heading out from work, wanna meet up?, is Michelle there with you?"
"And to what do we owe the pleasure?, are we celebrating anything?"
"No reason, I just need a break"
"That's a first"
"If you don't want to just say so, don't waste my time" Miranda said, already annoyed.
"There's the cranky prude that I love so much" she screeched joyfully.
Miranda cracked a smile, even against her will.
"Smartass" she said.
"OK we'll meet you on the usual place in thirty OK?"
"See you there, bye"
"Bye"
She hanged up, picked up her purse, and headed out.
"See you tomorrow, Stacey"
"Bye Miranda"
Once outside, Miguel,another of the company's drivers, was already waiting for her.
"Where to, Miss Miranda?"
"To the usual coffee shop, please"
"Right away Miss" and they drove off.
Half an hour later, Miranda was walking into the coffee shop, she looked around a bit, to find Michelle waving at her.
"Hey" she hailed
"Sup prude" replied Michelle and Rebecca.
Sometimes, Miranda still wondered, how on earth was she still friends with those two.
They had meet for the first time at Saint Constance, the school for the wealthy in Manhattan, Rebecca's family owned an oil company, while Michelle's family held a real state emporium, at first, Miranda just couldn't fit in anywhere, all the kids at that school were fixated on the wealth of each of their parents, which in theory, would have made Miranda one of the coolest kids, being the only daughter and heiress to Hawthorn industries, with a thousand different businesses, everything from real state, to exports to sports teams, the Hawthorns were as elite as elite can get, in a city where a name can weight the same as solid gold, if not more.
But Miranda had no interest in discussing her father's wealth, or the latest trends in fashion week, which made her get gradually isolated from the rest of the kids.
And she tried her best to fake it, she really did, but it was just not in her nature to pretend, and she gave it up soon after.
And just when she was finally making her peace with it, something unusual happened.
She was assigned to a team assignment with two other girls, which was less than exciting for her, the first one looked very lively, and the second one looked sweet, they went to Miranda's to do the assignment, and Nanny Stella made all kinds of yummy things and sweets for them, in an effort for helping Miranda's nonexistent social life.
And it worked.
"I wish my Nanny made food as yummy as this" said Michelle, the sweet one.
"You would be the size of a Zeppelin before year's end" commented Rebecca, the lively one.
"I'm pretty sure her dad can afford to have the doors of her house widened" commented Miranda, without even meaning to say it out loud.
Both kids laughed at Miranda's comment, which in turn, made her look at them puzzled.
"You're right, besides I bet her dad would gladly pay for her lipo, if she should ever need it" added Rebecca.
"You both just called me fat?" Asked Michelle, half amused, half offended.
"Nope, just a year away from it" Miranda said, which earned her a pillow to the face from Michelle.
Miranda retaliated, but missed Michelle, and got Rebecca instead, and so their first pillow fight broke out.
After that the girls started to seat together at lunch, for some unknown reason, the other two found her personality amusing, and she found theirs annoying and captivating at the same time, and she liked them, she genuinely liked them, she didn't have to pretend to be someone else, she can just be herself around those two, and they would still like her for it, as she liked them, as annoying as Rebecca was, as sappy as Michelle behaved, they were genuine, just like they were, around them, no more pretend, no more loneliness.
That was back in junior high, and now, over twelve year later, the three still were together as much as their lives allowed it.
"So, here we are" declared Rebecca.
"So I see" replied Miranda.
"Correct me if I'm wrong, but you never called us before at this hour" Michelle stated.
"Nope, never"
"So, something happened at work?" Rebecca inquired.
"Nothing worth mentioning, other than being annoyed at Will"
You mean "I so-so-so-want-to-be-your-boyfriend, Will?" Asked Rebecca with a devilish smile on her face.
"The one and only"
"Poor guy" sighed Michelle "at first it was amusing to see him try, but now I just feel bad for the poor guy"
"Nobody asks him to keep trying" Miranda said, while looking at the menu.
"Prude girl in Ice queen mode" they said at the exact same time, and the trio laughed.
The waitress interrupted the chatter to hand Miranda a menu.

"I think I wanna order something sweet" Miranda said, while looking at the menu.
Both girls raised their faces from the menus "what did you just say?" They asked.
"I'm pretty sure I said I wanted something sweet" she replied.
"OK now I'm getting scared" Rebecca said with a grim look in her face.
"Of what?" Miranda inquired.
"First you ditch your job, which in all the years we've known you has never happened, and now you "want something sweet?"
"And what's the big deal about it?"
"The big deal is that we have been coming to this coffee shop together for years, and not once, have you ordered anything different than an espresso or a black coffee with no sugar" Michelle explained.
"Something fishy is going on with you" Rebecca said, with a squinty look on her eyes.
Miranda just looked at them, and realized that they did have a point, she never ordered anything different, not once, she remembered how the girls tease her from time to time, saying that they didn't know which is more bitter, her or her drinks.
"Fess up" Rebecca ordered.
"There's nothing to confess" Miranda said while shrugging her shoulders.
"Spit it out" seconded Michelle "you don't fool us, you been acting all weird for about a month"
Miranda knew that they would pick up on it, she was mad at them for about two weeks after the whole red dress incident, she certainly gave them an earful for it, and she had to put up with their relentless, vicious mockery, ever since, which made her avoid them a little.
She told them about what she woke up to.
And the girls laughed like they never had before, so hard and long that they both ended with stomachache after an hour, and still they laughed some more.
Of course, Miranda left out the part where she, in fact, lost her V-card to a complete stranger, that would have sent them over the moon, and that was a pleasure Miranda was more than happy to deny them.

After all, she lied to them many years before, senior year of highschool, to be precise.
The day Michelle lost hers, she couldn't help herself, and confessed to their friends about it the very next morning, her then boyfriend, managed to convince her, and his family owned a grand luxury hotel, where the deed took place.
As no Manhattan girl, born and raised, would settle for the lousy back of a car, even if we were to be talking about a limousine.
They both congratulated her, but just before she went on to the details, she asked them both.
"What about you guys? Any luck?"
Rebecca answered as they suspected she would "that ship sailed months ago" she declared.
"Do tell, who was the lucky guy?"
"The yummy son of the gardener" she said hiding her face between her hands.
"Ewww" Michelle said, while making a disgusted face "you gave it to the help"
"Don't be a snob, Michelle, besides, my gardener boy did, I'm sure, a way better job at it than your blockhead of a boyfriend" she snorted.
"Doubt it, my George did it perfectly"
Miranda just kept silent, hoping that they would leave her out of the questioning, of course, by now, anyone would realize that Miranda does these kind of foolish thinking on a regular basis.
"What about you?" Rebecca asked.
"What about me?" Miranda said, while trying not to look her in the eye.
"Have you already given it up or not?"
"Nome of your business" she replied.
"Ohh but if one of my two best friends in the whole world gives her V-card, it definitely is my business, now, quit stalling and fess up Missy!"
Miranda considered for a moment telling the truth, but she knew exactly who was she talking to, and if she told them she still hadn't lost it, those two wouldn't let her hear the end of it, she even imagined them both trying to set her up to anything with two legs and a penis, or organize a pool on how long it would take for her to lose it, or something even worse.

So, she lied.

"Two months ago" she stated calmly.
"Really?" They both asked "who was the poor victim"
"That's something I'll take to my grave"
"Don't be such a bitch, just tell us" they both squealed.
But no matter how much they begged, she would never give the name, mainly because there was no name to give.
It took them about a week to give up, after that, they just referred to him, whoever he was, as "the victim".

I just felt like something sweet OK?" She almost yelled.
"OK OK geez, just found it weird, that's all"
Their orders came in a few minutes later, and the three girls dug in with singular joy, even Miranda, who usually only ordered once, and her cup stood there for hours, but right now, her order was different, no espresso, instead, she ordered a cheese cake slice, and an Oreo frappé.
Her two friends only looked at each other in confusion, as the words left her mouth, into the waiters tablet.
Now all three of them were devouring their treats.
After she was done, Miranda felt like going to the restroom, but as soon as she stood up, everything around her started spinning.
Luckily, a waiter was just passing by, and was quick enough to break her fall.
"Miranda!, are you OK?" They both asked as they ran to her side.
"I feel dizzy", that's all she was able to say, before everything went dark.