This isn't happening! #wattys2017

are you kidding me?

The pleasant sleep lasted until the sound of the seven a.m. alarm clock crawled his way into his dreams.

Josh opened his eyes slowly, and drowsily made his feet hang from the side of his bed.

walked to the bathroom and opened the shower.

Twenty minutes later, he was ready to go to work.

As usual, he found Marcus waiting for him outside.

"Ready to go?" he asked.

"sure" he replied, Josh had ceased to be annoyed by Marcus's presence as he had been accompanying him for little more than two weeks now, and he proved to be a good ear for Josh, so him being there didn't bother him anymore.

Josh climbed in the S.U.V. which Marcus drove there every morning.

The ride was uneventful and they reached their destination forty minutes later.

Hawthorn industries.

Josh took a look at the building, he did it every morning, thinking about the person that sat in one of the offices in the top floors.

Once inside, Josh made his way to his work station, a minuscule cubicle in a corner of the slightly less minuscule mail room.

Truthfully, Josh wasn't exactly thrilled when Miranda gave him his assignment, but decided not to fret over it, he had already guessed that even tho he forced her to change the game plan, she still wasn't gonna let a chance to stomp over him past by.

And he was going to endure it, he decided so since he mentioned marriage, Miranda agreed, but sure as hell it was not going to be a walk in the park.

but their child deserved it, that and much more.

Josh started his morning run, which consisted on pulling a little mail cart across all the apartments to deliver whatever mail had come in from the day before.

"Morning Josh" he heard.

He turned around to see Amanda, a blonde girl from marketing he had met a couple days after he started.

"morning Amanda" he greeted back.

She just smiled and continued to smile at him until he turned around the corner of the hallway where her cubicle was located.

By now, Josh had met some more of his new colleagues, particularly the women, as most guys just named him "mail guy" and didn't even bother to look at him.

The rest of his day went pretty much in a calm manner, thanks to Miranda, he was allowed to leave whenever he had to attend classes.

Josh got home by ten p.m. or so, and went straight to bed.

His phone rang in the middle of the night, waking him up, as he stared at the screen he saw the phone clock, it was two a.m. but what caught his attention was the reason the phone rang.

He could read Miranda's name on it.

That woke him up straight away, thinking that something might be wrong with the baby.

"Hello?" he uttered while taking the call.

"Josh, i need you to do something for me" he heard Miranda say.

"is everything okay?" he sternly asked.

"i need you to go get something for me" she replied.

"what is it?" he asked after noting that it was not a danger situation by the tone in her voice.

"i want something sweet" she announced.

Josh stayed mute for a few seconds.

"can you repeat that? i think i heard you say you wanted something sweet" 

"that means that both your ear and your phone are working properly, then your brain must be the problem"

"are you serious?" he questioned.

"as a heart attack" she answered crudely.

"you want me to leave my home in the middle of the night, go buy something sweet, and then drive all the way to Manhattan, just because you had a craving?"

"listen to me mister" Miranda responded, took some air, and continued "i have been experiencing all sort of discomfort for the past month and a half, heartburn, morning sickness and i have to pee every five minutes, to name a few, i still have about seven months to go, during which i will most likely gain weight, lose my figure, suffer constipation, get swollen ankles, not to mention my vagina will never be the same after this, and i have you to thank for all that, so, believe me, i will take advantage of any opportunity i can get to cause you as much discomfort as humanely possible, and still i will get nowhere near to as much as you've already caused me, and will continue to cause me in the next few months.

 You have any problem with that?"

"what kind of sweet were you thinking of?" was Josh's reply.

"a cake and a strawberry milkshake" she requested.

"anything else?"

"hurry up" she said, only to hang up after that.

Josh sat on his bed for a second, not believing what just happened.

Five minutes later, Josh was headed getting inside his car.

"note to self: never argue with a pregnant woman" he thought, as he drove off.