This isn't happening! #wattys2017

What's wrong with my clothes?

Josh and Marcus arrived at the store about an hour later.
As they entered, a woman was already at the entrance already waiting for them.
"Hello, welcome to Macy's" she greeted them.
"Hi" Josh greeted back.
"If I'm not  mistaken, you both are here on behalf of Miranda?" She inquired.
"That's correct" Marcus indicated.
"Perfect" she said "my name is Lauren and i will be assisting you today, this way please" she said while heading further inside the store.
"After you" said Marcus smiling, while signaling with an arm.
"You're enjoying this" Josh observed.
"As should you" he replied "your baby mama is gonna get you a new, and I'm sure, expensive wardrobe, I really don't see what is there to complain about" he smiled.
"Then why do I feel I'm getting shackles, and the orange jumpsuit to match them?"
"In that case you are about to become the best dressed prisoner of all time"
"I'm glad my misery is of use to you"
"I repeat, you managed to knock up the most, not one of the most, but THE MOST eligible bachellorette of all of Manhattan, and now she is about to go extreme makeover on your ass, and pay for clothes that you could never afford yourself, and you call that misery?" He smiled "your definition and mine differ a lot"
Josh couldn't help but smile
"I don't plan on smooching a dime out of her" he declared.
"Doesn't mean you cannot find a silver lining in all this"
"You talk an awful lot for a bodyguard" Josh snorted.
"How many of us have you met?"
"None" he admitted "just figured"
"Usually you would be right, but in this case, I think you need more encouragement than protection, besides, it looks like we will be spending a lot of time together, it would be best for both if we get along"
"True" Josh admitted, it was true that Marcus was there to act more like his warden than his bodyguard, but the big guy didn't seem to be a bad person, if anything, his carefree attitude was making the whole situation easier to digest.
"What did Miranda tell you?" Josh asked, as the three were heading inside.
"She called me and told me a friend of hers needed a new image" she said, and looked at them both "and judging by both your attires, I'm guessing that means you"
Josh only nodded.
"We will head first to the beauty department, she instructed for us to make look magnificent" she smiled.
"And what does magnificent mean?" He asked.
"Don't worry, we are professionals, I guarantee you will look better than ever"
Josh just looked at her with a dubious look, as reassuring as that sounded, he still didn't feel comfortable with it.
"Here we are" Lauren announced.
A woman with a big smile was waiting for them next to one of the chairs neatly lined up in front of a series of lighted vanity mirrors.
"Welcome, my name is Gabrielle and I will be your stylist today"
"Hello" Josh greeted back.
"Please have a seat" she asked.
Josh sat down, then Gabrielle placed a cover on him and started looking for the tools to use.
"I still don't know what haircut I want" Josh declared.
"Ummm actually, Miranda sent me a picture of the haircut she picked for you" Lauren said.
"Of course she did" Josh sighed.
"I will begin now Mr.Josh"
"Let's get this over with" he replied bitterly.
And Gabrielle started.
Forty minutes later, she was done.
Josh looked at himself in the mirror, and he was surprisingly happy with the end result, Miranda had picked a  medium length undercut haircut, and he truly looked great on it.
Even his eyebrows were carefully trimmed and all sorts of products applied.
Still, when asked by Lauren on his thoughts.
"All right I guess" he said.
Josh would never be caught admitting that what Miranda chose was the exact same thing he would have chosen if he had been given the choice.
"Now that the hair is done, next is wardrobe" Lauren pointed.
"And I'm guessing Miranda already told you what to get me"
Lauren shrugged her shoulders "Miranda gave us guidelines, I'm sure we can help you pick something that you both will like"
"Don't bother" Josh said "I'm sure you know what you're doing, besides, this wasn't even my idea, so anything will be fine"
Lauren did not quite understand what was going on, but concluded not to ask.
"This way please" she signaled, and Josh followed.
It took about two hours and a million different outfit changes for Lauren to declare that they were done.

In the end, Josh left the store with more clothes than what he had in his closet, even between him and Marcus, they still couldn't carry all the bags and suits at once.
Once they were out, a town car was waiting for them.
"Hey Marcus" saluted the driver, while opening the door.
"Hi Miguel" he hailed back.
"Miss Miranda sent me to pick you guys up"
"I figured as much" Josh said, while throwing the bags through the door.
"Nice to meet you Miguel, I'm Josh" he said while extending his hand.
Miguel looked at him for a second, unsure of what to do, after a few seconds, he shakes his hand "Miguel at your service" he said.
Once inside, Marcus looked at him with an amused look.
"What now?" Asked Josh.
"People don't usually greet the help like that" Marcus stated.
"I'm not Miranda or any of her people" Josh replied "My parents work for people like that, and I would like for them to be treated like normal human beings, instead of " the help"
Marcus smiled "you are a very amusing fellow"
Josh just shrugged his shoulders.
"I'm not trying to be" he said.
Moments later, Miguel started the car and drove off, back to Brooklyn.
And Josh couldn't feel more relieved to return to where normal people lived.