The Long Game--Joshaya

Chapter 4

Darkness surrounded me. It was just pitch black. My mind was swirling. I felt dizzy. A part of me could feel myself falling back to that moment.

"Are you okay Maya?" I wasn't okay. No way was I okay. 

"Maya?" His voice sounded through the darkness again. I could barely see his figure move, but it was enough to start freaking me out. I started to back up by instinct. "Do you need me to leave?" 

Do I need him to leave? I do need him to leave. I desperately needed him to leave, but I desperately needed him to stay. Why did this have to happen tonight. I can't be alone in the dark, but I can't be alone with a guy. 

"How about I help you light your candles before leaving?" I nodded my head hoping that he could see my figure. 

He headed towards the kitchen to check the drawers for candles. He then moved to the bedrooms in hope that there would be candles there. I was left alone in darkness once again. 

"Just stay quiet," a deep voice whispered. Everything around me was black. I could only feel myself being pushed around. There was something over my eyes. I could barely see where I was going, but from the walls I kept hitting I knew I was in some kind of alleyway. Why was this happening to me? I'm scared. Riley, Josh, Farkle, anyone please. 

My head was throbbing by now. The man pushed me one last time before pinning me against the wall. I was stuck.

"I found them!" I jumped at the sudden sound of Josh's voice. I tried to shake away my thoughts, my memories. I wanted to forget them, but I couldn't. I was shaking uncontrollably now.

The candles were lit now and he was grabbing the coat he had previously taken off. "I'm going to leave no-" 

"Stay." My voice was barely loud enough. I was scared to be alone with Josh, but I was more scared to be alone in the dark. 

Josh stopped in his tracks and turned to look at me. I didn't have to look at him to know he was beyond worried. 

"Please just stay.." I begged quietly. I was now crouched on the ground. I couldn't stand it. Why was I so weak? I used to be that strong girl who wouldn't take anything from anyone. Now, I've become someone who could barely stand the dark.

I could here Josh close the door. I breathed a sigh of relief, but it didn't relieve my fear. 

There was an awkward silence again. This never used to happen. I always had something to say, especially to Josh.

"So uh.." Josh started. "How was your day" 

I smiled a little at his lame attempt to break the silence. If we weren't in the middle of a blackout I definitely would have been full out laughing. Of all things to converse with he decided to go with something so cliche. It could have been worse if he had asked how the weather was though.

"It-it was good." I stuttered out. the conversation was over.

Another silence. It was starting to takeover. I feel myself drifting back to that time. The darkness was taking over. 

Why me? Why? Why? Why? Help me. Please. Help. What did I ever-

"How's the weather..?" I hear Josh's voice. I was scared, but I couldn't help but giggle. I kept laughing. I couldn't stop laughing now.

"Why are you laughing?" There was a tone in Josh's voice that gave away that he too was smiling. 

I was laughing because he asked me how the weather was, something worse than asking me how my day was. There was something else too. I was laughing because only Josh had managed to bring me back. Riley couldn't even do it, but Josh somehow did without event trying. 

My laugh turned into laughs of fear though. I couldn't help but think about that night. He managed to pull me out of reliving it, but my mind kept thinking about it. 

"Please help me." I wasn't laughing anymore. I felt myself going backwards to that time. "Somebody, anybody." The feelings I felt that night came back.

Something furry suddenly touched my arm causing me to jump. What is that? I don't remember anything furry being near me. 

"It's okay Maya." A high pitched voice said. What?

I look to my left, where the furry thing touched, to see it was a stuffed bear. What?

"It'll be fine." Said the same voice. That's when I fully came back to reality.  I wasn't alone. Josh was here for me. Sure enough the hand holding the bear was Josh's.

"You're not alone, let's sit by the candles." He continued in that silly voice.

I looked at him kind of funny. He raised a brow at me. 

"What?" He once again used his bear voice. I small smile made it to my face causing a smile to reach his face. 

"Your bear voice is kind of creep." I finally say.

"It's not that bad.." He was pouting now. He was almost too cute for me to handle.

"It's pretty bad."

"Could you do better?" He grinned. I was up for that challenge. 

"I can..maybe." A squeaky voice came from me. I didn't even know my voice could go that high. We both froze at the sound that came out of my mouth and soon we were laughing. I had almost forgotten about what happened.

"Okay maybe I can't." I admit. I look up towards the candle light. It was getting dimmer. I could almost feel myself going back. No, don't go back. I don't want to go back.

"Here hold my hand." He was doing that silly bear voice again. The bear's furry paw touched my arm. I am not alone. This bear is here for me. I am not alone. I grabbed onto the bear's light brown paw.

"Where did you get the bear?" I was trying to keep my mind distracted.

"I may have swiped it from Riley." He said guiltily. 

"Riley's going to kill you." I say in a serious tone. We both stare at each other seriously before cracking into smiles.

"I'm kidding. I asked her and she say yes." Riley actually let Josh take it? I must really be worrying her.

"That no fun."

"I am not stealing from my poor, innocent niece."

That's when the lights switched back on. It was thanks to Josh that I wasn't there right now. The blackout had lasted about an hour. 

I breathed a sigh of relief. It was over. I looked up towards Josh to see him smiling at me.

"What?" I raise a brow. 

"It's been a while since I've heard you laugh." I was still holding onto the bear's paw. 

I sighed. "I know.." I haven't really laughed like that in a while.

"I should get going." He started to stand. I followed him to the door.

"Josh?" 

"Yea?" He quickly spun around to face me.

"Thank you."

"No problem Little Ferret." He gave me a smile that melted me on the inside. I wasn't just thankful for him staying during the black out though.

"No.. Thank you. Thank you for being patient with me." 

"I'm in it for the long game Maya." He quickly said his goodbye and left. I could tell that he was blushing since his ears were red.

"I don't think you should be though.." I said to myself. I wasn't myself anymore. This issue was going to follow me forever and I don't think anyone can stop it, not even Josh. I will always be in that time. He's wasting his time waiting for me. I'm just not worth it.