The Long Game--Joshaya

Chapter 6

"You seem a lot happier these days." Well Farkle, I am. More than I'd like to admit too. 

I gave him a small smile and nodded. "I decided to give this hope thing a try."

His face lit from announcement. "I'm really glad. It's going to do you good."

"I sure hope so."

I've been talking to Josh more. We've been taking it slow, which I'm really grateful for.  It was scary to push myself pass this fear. I thought that I was making a mistake and I wouldn't get over it. I told Josh and Riley that I was going to give it try, so here I am.

Josh started off easy. We texted since it was the easiest and it was the least scary. He was back at NYU now. It was his last year so he wasn't free enough to come visit as often. 

Yesterday we upgraded from texts to phone calls. Yes, I realize that we've been talking in person for a few days already, but the thing is that I was constantly afraid. I was always so tense and scared. So, we are slowly moving so that I won't be as tense. Yesterday, we had the longest talk. It lasted almost all night. It was one of the most amazing calls I've ever head. No one could compare, well other than Riley. Nobody could compare with Riley. 

We talked about absolutely nothing, yet absolutely everything. Let's just say, I wanted to do it again.

We headed to lunch with Riley and Lucas after class.

Let me just tell you that this moment was shocking for my friends.

I started heading towards the lunch line. I stared at the food. Of course I was hungry, but I knew I wouldn't be able to eat something heavy. Instead I grabbed some apple juice and a granola bar that our school gave out as lunch. My friends were staring. They weren't even trying to be discreet. 

I sat in my usual seat between riley and Smackle. "Just say it." I slowly opened my granola pack.

"You-you're eating." Was all Lucas managed to get out.

"I'm trying." I state as a matter of fact. I've been trying to eat a little during lunch little by little. Going to public places and such to eat. Of course these places were crowded with people, but it was much better than an isolated place...as long as no one touched me. 

I bit a little corer of the granola.

"What happened?" Riley asked, surprised by my sudden change in attitude. I had been talking to her but I haven't really seen her since last friday.

"We thought it would be a good idea if I tried to eat little by little for lunch. It could be a step to actually getting better." I explained.

"We?" Zay questioned.

"My uncle and her" Riley explained. There was a tone of hurt in her voice.

"Well, I'm really glad you're trying Maya." Smackle commented.

---

We were sitting at the bay window and now I was sure she was upset.

"Riley, what's wrong?"

"Do you really want to know?" She said quietly.

"Of course!"

She sighed. "This is going to sound crazy and selfish, but why did you listen to him and not me?"

What was she talking about? "What?"

"I've been trying to help you for months, and Josh he just comes back and you listen to him. I'm glad you're trying to get better, but it just hurts a little. I shouldn't be selfish like this, but I can't help it."

"Riley, how could you ever think that. That's not selfish of you at all. I have always wanted to do this. I intake every word you say, I really do. I've been on the edge of that crossing line, Josh just gave me that push. You know who got me to that line though? You, and the others. Your words and worry have gotten me there, I just needed a little something to actually start it. I really do listen to your advice. How could I not? You're my extraordinary relationship."

"Peaches" I saw that she was tearing up before we dove into a hug.

She separated from me and gave me that look. Suddenly the topic was changed. You know the look. The one the friend gives when they see you talk to your crush for the first time or when they want to make fun of you. That look.

"So...."

I raised a brow. "So?"

"Update me!" She squealed. You would think after a few years she'd have matured a bit, but she hasn't.

"There's nothing to update." I wasn't sure if I was lying or not. Nothing has changed, we're still playing the long game.

"Something has changed Maya." She gave me that one look.

"I don't know. Did something change? We've been texting..and talking." She was silent, telling me to go on. "I don't know. I've been in this scared bubble this whole time and he's desperately trying to pull me out. I guess the idea and hope he's giving me touched my heart. It makes me actually want to push myself. His hope is giving me that push." She had a smile on her face. She was silently thanking Josh. Thanking him for the push.

"Yesterday we talked all night." I admitted. She raised her brow in amusement.

"Oh really?"

"Yea. It was so great, but I'm scared Riley." I closed my eyes trying to shut out the thoughts.

She held my hand in support. "Scare of what?" Her voice was gentle, and comforting.

"I'm scared that the something bad will happen again" The feeling of being pushed against the wall and the fear I felt was entering my mind. I felt the squeeze of Riley's hand, bringing me back to the bay window.

"We're here to protect you this time. Me, my parents, Lucas, Farkle, Smackle, Zay, and Josh. We will protect you, no matter what it takes. You would do the same for us." She gave me a hug.

"There's also one more thing..." I add on.

"What?"

"What if.. What if Josh breaks my heart into more pieces than it already is? What if he gets tired of waiting? Of playing this long game?"

She gave me a look that said I couldn't be more wrong.

"Maya, Josh cares for you almost as I care for you. No one can care more about you than me by the way. Anyways, he cares so much about you, he would never hurt you. He would never break your heart like that. If he did, well let's just say the rest of his life won't go so well." She gave an evil, dark look. "Anyways, he cares about you. I know he does. You should too."

I was just scared. My insecurities were getting the better of me. I knew he cared, but there was always that what if. For now, I was going to have to take that chance.

"Thunder?" She held out her hand.

"Lightning." I smiled back at her.

This bay window is magic. Thank you Riley.