The Long Game--Joshaya

Chapter 5

I am a coward. I wasn't always a coward, but clearly there have been lots of changes to my life. 

"You've been avoiding him for the past 2 weeks" Her voice was laced with disappointment. Riley rarely ever uses that tone with me. When she does, I know I've messed up. Nevertheless, I ignored her and continued doing my homework.

"He's leaving in a week Maya!" She swiped the pen from my hands. She was beginning to become irritated with me. 

This is why I'm a coward. I haven't been to the Matthew's in weeks and I've been lucky that Josh wasn't coming over like that one night. It disappointed me a little that he wasn't, but it was better this way. I have still been eating though. The pictures Josh left for me was helping me eat. It was really weird to just have photos of everyone, but it helped so I wasn't going to complain. 

"I have been." I quietly say as I put away the homework I couldn't even finish. 

Rather than answering me, she constructed a Bay Window in my room. She sat there and pat in the seat next to her. I sighed at her silliness and sat in the seat next to her. 

"Why?" She finally asked. 

"I'm scared." I whisper.

"Scared of what?" She knew that the obvious answer was that he would accidentally touch me, but she knew that there was more to it than that. It would be ridiculous if I didn't hang around Josh in fear of him touching me because then I wouldn't be hanging out with Farkle, Lucas, and Zay either. 

"He's planning on waiting for me. I can't just hold him back because I'm scared. He should go fall in love with someone else. He's not going to be waiting for a few months, this might take years. I can't give him such an unstable wait. He could be going out there. I'm not worth the wait." I let it all out. 

She gave a deep breathe. "Maya. You're not the one to decide if you're worth the wait. Only he can decide that."

"But-"

"No buts. Go. See. Him." She commanded. 

"I don't know.." 

Her warm hands grabbed mine. "Please, just trust me on this." 

She was my best friend, my sister. She wouldn't ask me to do this if she knew it was bad for me. 

"Okay." I nodded my head, "But.." 

"Another but?" She had a small grin. 

"But where does he live now?" I laughed a little and she followed.

"I'll text it to you." 

---

Here I am, standing in front of an apartment located near NYU. This meant being near almost adult, college students that could possibly scare the living shit out of me. That was a low possibility though..I hope.

Honestly though, I'm not sure what I'm more scared of, the fact that I'm going to talk about who knows what with Josh or just being surrounded by these college students. 

"Maya?" I didn't have time to decide because I came face to face with one of them right away.

"Hey Josh.."

"What are you doing here?"

"You know.. just in the neighborhood" I mentally hit myself for the lamest excuse ever. 

He smirked and nodded his head also knowing that that was the worst excuse ever. "Just couldn't stay away from me and my teddy bear voice huh?

"Just as much as I miss having pineapple on my pizza."