Big Dreams 》Kim Namjoon

Ch 4- Hate

Yukiko's pov

"Welcome to your new house," Kebeum closed the doors to the car, "it's lovely!" Mom admired the house, I guess it doesn't look bad it's kind of cute. A house that isn't to small or too big, just an average size for a couple to live in. "Let me help you carry that," Bangsil took my luggage from my hand walking inside the house. How I wish to tell him no thanks!

I made my way inside the already set up house, taking off my shoes and slipping on the slippers, I heard my mom laughing. "Jaekyung-ah this is so lovely, thank you for setting up the house!" Mom praised my aunt's arrangement of the house, "It's wasn't a problem with the help of your parents," I walked in on them seeing the grand piano in a room, probably a study room.

"Yuki, come greet your aunt," mom motioned me over, I did as I was told and bowed 90 degrees. "You've grown to be so beautiful, just like your mother," she complemented holding my hands, I bowed again showing her thanks. "I hope you like where I place your father's piano," I just stared at the black grand piano without any reaction. "Yuki what do you say to your aunt?" Mom nudged my arm, I can't speak can I mom? I may not be able to speak but I can show how I feel.

I glared at the grand piano and back to Aunty Jaekyung, I walked away heading upstairs to find my room, "Yuki, thank your aunt, Yuki come back!" Aunty Jaekyung told mom it was ok that I was just missing my father. Yeah, I miss him a lot now music is dead to me, just like my father. I opened the doors on the second floor finding my room. The last door I am stading across from is the only room I haven't open yet, this must be my room.

I place my hand on the handle opening the door, yup this is my room. A plain boring white room with a wooden floor, different from the other rooms. I place my bag on the gray bed sheets, that is nicely made on the twin bed. I sighed sitting on the bed examining my new room, the sunlight lit my room reflecting off the white walls brightening the room. My door was white, right from the door is a big walking closet and a pastel gray drawer.

Left from the door is a white make up desk, also perfect for doing homework. Other the than the window, that I have access to see the whole block. I lie down on the bed staring at the white ceiling, I let out a sigh. Realizing something out of the blue, I sat up. At the end of my bed, sits my guitar on a stand. Why, why is it everywhere I go they gotta come back?

I felt my eyes sting from the tears that are now forming. I hate you! I shouted in my head curling up into a ball. A knock was heard at my door, "Yuki come down for some... Yuki what's wrong?" Mom rushed over to me rubbing my back in circles. I sobbed pushing my mom's arm off of me, "Yuki," mom sounded a bit pained from my action, "I know you're upset about your father, you miss him I miss him but we have to continue on. I know your father wouldn't want us to mourn over him, he would like us to continue on without him," mom placed her hands on my shoulders, but I shrugged her off.

You hate me eomma, if play music again I'll only be reminded of otosan. In my dream you shouted how you hate me and the song my father loved. I'm scared to hurt you eomma, you will only hate me more if I play again. How I wish to say this to you but I can't bring myself to. I hate myself.

I cried harder burying my head in my hands, "I'll leave you alone then," mom left my room shutting the door behind her. This is torture, music is torturing me haunting me. I grabbed my backpack that is laying in front of me. Searching for my black notebook, I opened it and stared at the music notes. Little pieces of music from my notebook played in my head, I shut my eyes trying to get them out of my head. Unable to make the music piece disappear from my head, I teared my notebook apart. Ripping the pages out of my composed songs from the notebook.

I hate this, I hate this, I hate it, I HATE IT! I screamed in my head as I ripped the pages out. As I ripped a page out, a sharp pain ran across my finger. I gasped seeing blood that is seeping out from my finger. I shoved all of the ripped pieces of paper onto the floor. Wrapping my finger with a bandage without cleaning it, I pulled the bed sheets over my head.

Vividly, I see a man playing on the piano while a girl is playing the guitar. Look how happy they are while playing together, how I miss the sound of the grand piano and guitar play together. "Alright princess, switch instruments I want to hear you play the piano," the man on the piano stood up from his spot. The girl set her guitar down running over to the piano. "Can you sing to otosan while playing?" The girl nod her head starting to play a song. "Never stop playing even if it's difficult," the man said while the girl played.

"Yuki, wake up," I woke up in a dark room, the only light provided was the lights from the hallways. "What are you doing in the corner of your room? Why are there paper over the floor, Yuki are you ok?" Mom placed her slim fingers on my forehead, "you're perfectly fine," she huffed, "lets get you something to eat first," mom helped me up and brought me downstairs. The table was nicely set with korean and Japanese cuisine.

"Starting on Monday, you will go to your new school, also we will go to your first doctor's appointment for your voice therapy tomorrow," mom spoke up putting rice in her mouth. I didn't show any reaction, "I'm assuming you don't have any comments about it," I took a little sip from my drink carefully swallowing it down. I tapped my wrist, asking what time is the appointment tomorrow. Mom saw and said, "10 am," I only nodded.

After dinner, before turning the corner that led to the stairs, the grand piano peacefully sat in the study room. "Never stop playing even if it's difficult."

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TBC!

Tbh I have like 6 chapters already written, so I might constantly update because they're all completed chapters. I hope y'all don't mind the constant update for the next 6 chapters.

But how are my loves doing today? I hope you like todays update, don't forget to vote and comment!