Wildest Dream

Clean

A standalone story of heartache

***

I don't want to be kept in the dark. Being shoved in the closet like a dirty little secret that you're ashamed about. I don't want to wait after the lights have gone out. I can't stand to see him kisses you goodnight. It should've been me instead. I know the cameras are flashing, I see them too. But I'm done with hiding, are you coming with me?

We stand on a crumbling cliff, just a crack away from falling. The truth is lurking and we are covering ourselves with lies and deceptions. Do you feel naked without it? Do you feel scared about it? Because I do too. But not because I'm afraid of the truth. Losing myself little by little is what I am terrified of. I watch my face in the mirror every morning, wondering where did she go? What is she doing? Then I take a look at you. The last strand of sanity that has been holding me together for so long. How long will it last? What does it take to finally snap and it's all over?

I miss your warmth in my bed. Hogging it all, giving me so little space on the edge. I long for your comforting words and silly laughter. A simple caress on the cheek and fleeting kisses on my lips. What are you doing tonight? Is it still on? This little charade of yours with the flavor of the month? Does he hold the door open for you? Does he understand your worries and that paranoia of yours? Maybe there's not much to worry about with him. No looking over the shoulders. No quick sweep around the street as he's about to hold your hand.

What does it feel like to have nothing to hide? I guess you will never know.

My heart is chained onto yours. I could walk away tomorrow, but what good would it do? It will still be carrying you, around and around like a broken record. Sun sets and rises. Day goes by and I am still here. Maybe one day you will come and free me. I am not sure that I will be able to walk away. Not when you have one hand over my heart and the other hiding behind your back. How would we end? As a fading memory? Or wrinkled hands intertwined together?

Tell me now. A mere whisper would be just fine. Tell me why we can't be together. Tell me why there are so much lies. Hit me with the truth, as it hurt the most. It is sharp as it is inevitable. We cannot run forever, you already know that. We cannot pretend forever, there's not that much masks in this world. So pick just one. Then stick with it. Decide. We have to get out of this and do it fast. Because in the closet, that is where the monsters went to hide.

***

PS: Sorry for ranting and this overtly sad story. I'll brighten up for the next one.

Next: The 1975 - Girls (Not a Taylor's song, but you know what is it about, right?)