Maybe It Wasn't An Accident

School Chapter.

This chapter, will be written in the form of any first-person novel.

It's based on today.

01/24/17

Thank you.

-

I wake up, having looked at the clock not 15 seconds ago and it being 6:39.

I blinked once, and it was suddenly 7:13.

At first I was surprised, and then I was mad.

Mad that a piece of my memory- a piece of my life- had just been ripped from my grasp and thrown into the solar system. I don't want to overthink, though. Because overthinking never ends well for me. It's always hard to look at something the same after that.

Usually I get dressed in the morning right away, but today seems different. Like a part of me was lacking that morning motivation. I ignore it.

It does take me a minute to get out of bed, but when I do, I make sure to pick out something to wear that doesn't make me feel as bad as yesterday. I just decide to put on sweatpants, as I have no other type of pants in the closet right now.

I don't have breakfast in the morning, so that's completely off my to- do list. I go to my bathroom to look in the mirror.

I have to be honest, I don't like how I look. I've decided to wear my hair down- as usual, because ever since I cut my hair a week ago, I haven't been able to wear it any other way.

No more ponytails, and no more messy buns. I get really self conscious about it for no reason.

-

My mom leaves, and I'm forced to get ready in under 10 minutes and step outside to somewhere where I might not be comfortable. But then again, when am I ever comfortable with something?

-

Car ride. No big deal, but it does seem longer today.

I look down at the rubber band on my wrist and feel something in my stomach churn.

Stepping out, I regret not having my headphones in.

I'm finally alone with my own thoughts, and my head is not filled with temporary lyrics.

-

Walking into the school courtyard, I feel as if I'm totally vulnerable because fun fact: I have no friends and everyone I love leaves me. So while I'm waiting for one of my friends to show up, I'm stuck talking to someone, looking as awkward as ever.

She finally arrives, and since she knows about me, she instantly knows the cue and walks inside the school with me, leaving the rest of the students outside.

If I'm going to be honest, I only go inside to get away from people. I've never touched the food in the morning.

..

I show up a little late, as it was taking a long time to get everything together. I felt kind of upset, knowing that I was one of the last ones to walk into the classroom and my anxiety levels were already high as it is. But I was glad to show up, knowing that my best friend wouldn't worry.

I try so hard to keep her happy, and sometimes I don't worry about my own feelings. It's cool though, it won't kill me or anything.

-

Music class.

I told myself I would love this class, because it's one of my favorite things outside of school, but in school it's not as fun.