nineteen

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and maybe it's not my weekend but it's gonna be my year. and I'm so sick of watching while the minutes pass as I go nowhere.-All Time Low (weightless)

In my dreams – nineteen

“Please don’t leave me again”, Harry whispers in Louis’ hair when they’re on the couch watching a movie later that day.

“You know I can’t help it”, Louis says.

“I know. But that doesn’t make it hurt less when I find out you’re gone again.”

“I know, babe. I know.”

“I’m scared you won’t return one day.”

“I’ll always return to you”, Louis says, turning to look at his teary-eyed boyfriend.

“You don’t know that”, Harry whispers. “What if you don’t return? What will I do?”

“You will continue with your life”, Louis says sharply. “Ashton and Niall’ve got your back, Haz. Don’t you dare do something stupid or wild.” They both know what Harry wants to say next. I can’t continue with my life without you. But he doesn’t say it. He doesn’t need to.

It’s quiet for several moments, the movie providing background noise so the silence isn’t uncomfortable. Then Harry speaks up. “Can I draw you?”

Louis smiles. “You’ve got enough drawings of me as it is, don’t you? You could also just take a picture.”

Harry takes a deep breath. “Pictures disappear when you’re gone. Ashton showed me this picture of us when you disappeared the first time and instead of seeing the two of us hugging, I saw me standing against the doorframe on my own.”

It’s silent. “I didn’t know”, Louis says. “And of course you can draw me, love.” The if it helps you cope drifts in the air between them before Amber barks and successfully breaks the now-tense silence. She runs towards them clumsily and wags her tail, tongue sticking out her mouth. If a dog could smile, she’d definitely be smiling by now.

Her dog-happiness is contagious en Harry smiles and picks her up, patting her head before putting her down again. “Let me just get my drawing supplies, alright?” He gets up and it doesn’t take him long to get his pencils and sketchbook but in the time he was gone, Louis has managed to install Amber on his lap and partially under the blanket he had covering his legs.

They look adorable together.

“Is this pose alright?” Louis winks at him and Harry laughs gently.

“It’s more than alright. You two look endearing together.”

“It’s a bit too late to be using big words, innit?” Louis laughs but he’s looking at Harry fondly.

“It’s never too late for big words, especially not if it’s to describe you and your beautiful face”, Harry declares.

“You’re so cheesy, oh my God”, Louis grins and he covers his mouth with his hand to hide his large grin. “But before you say anything even more cheesy, I do love you indeed. Now draw!”

“As you wish, sir.” Harry mock-salutes him and starts sketching.

“Harry, love?”

Someone shakes him and Harry groans, lifting up his head and looking at his boyfriend. “What time is it?” he croaks.

“’Bout eleven thirty. We both fell asleep. Amber woke me up about a minute ago.” Louis flips the light switch and the room bathes in light. It doesn’t take Louis long to start giggling when he spots a large pencil blotch on Harry’s cheek.

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