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Maine is excited about her new journal and has started to write in its pages. It amazed RJ how she literally brightened up when she saw his gift. She gave a very subtle smile when she received the new journal, but her tears were a dead giveaway at how she loves the gift. And RJ's heart fluttered seeing how his simple gesture seemed to have been a huge gesture for her. From what he read in her records, she never had a real family, having transferred and escaped from one orphanage to another, until she ended up with the Brood. Each day that passes when he's with her is both a mystery and a revelation for him, and he realized how complicated it gets as she slowly begins telling him about the Brood.
RJ prides himself in being objective in handling cases of their subjects. He's a social worker, but he maintains a certain distance; it will not do him any good to be too attached and affected. He was assigned Maine's case because they know that he will be able to handle it without being too invested emotionally.
And yet, for some unexplainable reason, he bought that journal for her. Giving tokens or gifts to their case subjects are not exactly un-allowable, but it was a gesture that would break their 'code of objectivity'. Gifts signify a crack into the emotional barrier that social workers like him should always have.
But giving that journal to Maine made him so happy, seeing how she was happy receiving it from him.
That ought to have rang warning bells around him already.
//
One day, she handed him her old journal, opened at a certain page, much to his surprise. He looked at her quizzically, but she averted her gaze. He started reading what she wrote.
There are times when I wish I have never defied him, because it was the only place I know where I am safe. WAS safe.
But I now realize that defying him was something I should have done a long time ago. Maybe, if I did just that, I would have something left inside me.
RJ read the page over and over again, and he can't help but feel the pain in the words that she had written. He had to stop himself from going over to his side and take her into his arms. Instead, he very gently spoke to her.
"There is something left inside you, Maine."
She looked up at him, her eyes steely but puzzled at what he said.
"You still have your soul, and that's what's important."
He saw how her eyes softened before she looked down again. She took her journal from his hands and turned to another page before handing it to him.
They treated me like dirt. I never complained. But I know the things that they do. I've seen how hellish it is. I've seen how they made it hell for everyone else. I should know. They used me.
The words she'd written are dangerously delving deeper into her past, and inasmuch as RJ wanted to ask more, he did not want to rush her lest she brings up her walls again. He was tempted to leaf through the next pages, but it's as if Maine sensed what he wanted to do, she grabbed back her journal and shut it close.
PLEASE DON'T. I'M... I CAN'T...
"Maine, I'm sorry. I won't go beyond what you're allowing me to, I respect you. If and when you're ready, I'll just be here."
She stood up just then, causing RJ to panic that she took offense on what he just said. As she was about to leave, she spoke.
THANK YOU. MAYBE... TOMORROW...
And then she left him, signifying an end to their day's session.
//
"It's been three months, Mr. Faulkerson, but there doesn't seem to be any progress in Maine's case."
RJ was seated inside the Administrator's office, assessing the developments that they have made with Maine. RJ shook his head and answered pointedly at the Administrator.
"On the contrary, she's opened up a lot more since I came here. Have you seen how she smiles already? And she's been showing me pages of her journal, she has a lot to tell about what she's been through. We just need to give her more time."
"Time? The Home is not a permanent residence of case subjects, Mr. Faulkerson. We need to break into what her story is, and make her ready for the outside world. I'm sorry, but you have to do something about this, and fast."
RJ sighed at how the Administrator regards the patients in the Home, like objects that are being tested before they are released into the world. He's not surprised, though, for most of the facilities that he had been assigned to are the same. He cannot reconcile how the facilities can provide shelter and care, yet remain inhumane to the people. He supposes that makes it easier for the staff, the sense of detachment and indifference.
"I'll do the best I can."
//
He arrived early in the common room. Maine was nowhere to be found yet, and he was grateful for it, for it would allow him time to gather his thoughts after his talk with the Administrator. He closed his eyes for a bit, savoring the silence. Though most of the time he spends with Maine, neither of them talk that much, yet looking at her as she writes makes him understand her more. Her aura, though he doesn't know what else to call it, seems to grab hold of him, making him listen to words he never hears from her.
She is still a mystery to him, her silence baffling him, but he feels like he knows her more than anyone else.
She has been sitting in front of him for some time, observing him as he stays there silently, eyes closed. He doesn't seem to be asleep, she surmises. She wonders how deep his dimple is, for it seems to show whenever they are together, whenever he talks to her.
She finds herself reaching out for his cheek, in spite of herself. She is mesmerized at how serene he looks. As her hand touches the side of his face, he leans into her palm with his eyes still closed. She is startled at his movement, but she doesn't move her hand away.
"Maine."
He opens his eyes, locking in on hers. They stare at each other for a few seconds, before she withdraws her hand from his cheek. He is quick to hold her hand, and she doesn't pull away. When he finally releases her hand, she took out her old journal and hands it to him. RJ, puzzled at the gesture, looks back at Maine, and he was not prepared for what she said.
