Oops! Ang larawang ito ay hindi sumusunod sa aming mga alituntunin sa nilalaman. Upang magpatuloy sa pag-publish, subukan itong alisin o mag-upload ng bago.
They would lock the girls up in the room for more than three days. I could always hear them bickering inside, and then cries that would last the whole night. Their cries travel through the walls, and it's difficult to sleep. I learned to obey the Head, just so he will not put me in the room.
RJ had been reading Maine's journal for the past three days and as he goes through each page, his heart breaks into pieces. He only reads it whenever they are in the common room, making sure that Maine is with him when he reads it. He wants her to know that he will not judge her beyond what she has written, and that he will always seek her for answers. Only her.
Maine, even as she continues to write in her new journal, observes RJ as he gets absorbed in what she has written in her other journal. Many time she finds herself panicking when RJ opens it, but she calms down when RJ looks at her, still seeking her permission to read it, even when she willingly gave it to him already. She knows it's time to tell him everything, time to reveal secrets that she always thought would remain buried. Secrets that she never wanted anyone else to know.
And yet with this guy, who patiently waited for her to open up, she is willing to tell him everything. Granted, she is just another case subject for him. She knows what will happen next - he will write down his findings and make a report out of it, recommend her to a psychiatrist who will treat her mental and emotional state, and soon as she is turned over for treatment, she will no longer hear from him.
Guys like RJ were taught never to be attached, she knows this. Even as they break down the walls of their case subjects, these social workers never put down theirs.
He is one disgusting bastard. He is the worst person on this earth, and no amount of water and soap will ever wash away the filth that he has inflicted me with.
He made me sniff again. I hit it so hard that my nose bled, and he laughed at me. I hate it when he laughs, but I can't do anything. He took me again, this time with two other disgusting men, his visitors he said. I woke up with bruises on my thighs, and I felt so sore all over. I wish they'd just kill me.
RJ hit the table with his fist, making Maine jump. He was fighting back tears, angered at what he just read. He looked at her, wanting to envelope her in his arms and tell her everything is going to be fine, but he couldn't.
She looked at him, and she knows that every inch of her being wants to hold on to him. She realized that the part he just read was one of the darkest days she had in the Brood. All she could do was hold his hand.
JUST ASK ME RJ.
He held her hand tightly, struggling to say what he had been wanting to tell her for so long. He knew it will break her if he tells her, but he couldn't take it any longer. It was the best thing to do.
"I can't do this anymore, Maine. I'm turning over your case to my colleague. Beginning tomorrow, she will be visiting you for your case. I'm sorry."
With that, he released her hand and walked away.
//
It had been a week since RJ last visited the Home. Five days since he last spoke to Maine. Five days since the new social worker arrived to take on her case. The new girl was fine, Maine supposes, and she stood her distance from her. This new girl, though without the compassion and patience that was evident from RJ, had effectively drawn out from her other details of what her life had been in the Brood.
Maine still didn't talk to her much, limiting herself to a few sentences and never disclosing more than is necessary. She told the new girl where the Brood's headquarters was, and who, to her knowledge, is financing the drug operations. She told her about the girls who had been locked up, and how she was able to escape. She was straightforward in answering the new girl's questions, but she never let her read her journal.
After RJ left, she decided never to let anyone else read it.
On the second week that the new girl had been assigned to her case, she handed Maine a letter.
"I'm breaking a lot of rules here, Maine, but he insisted that I give this to you. And, this is already coming from me, he's miserable and downright regretful for leaving you."
Maine knew instantly whom the letter was from. She wanted to tear it into pieces. But somehow she felt her heart flutter at the sight of his handwriting. She took the letter and mumbled a 'thank you' to the new girl.
Maine,
I know you are mad at me, and I understand that you might never want to see me again. But please know that what I did was for the best. I couldn't help it, but I am falling deep already, and it will not do you any good if I stay on your case.
Give me a chance to hold your hand again, not as someone holding your case, but as someone who cares too much.
RJ
She folded the letter as tears began to fall from her cheeks. She was already sobbing, and the new girl just looked at her helplessly. She then felt strong arms grabbing her and holding her close.
"Maine, please, stop crying. I'll never leave again, I promise. Please..."
Maine tried to push him away, but he held on to her, stroking her hair and whispering into her ear. She gave in to his embrace, and cried into his chest. RJ loosened his hold, but still held her close. He sighed as she continued to cry silently. The new girl very discretely left them and went on to the Administrator's office to file her assessment of Maine's case.
After a few minutes, Maine spoke.
YOU'RE ANNOYING, YOU KNOW THAT, RIGHT?
RJ laughed and looked at her as she stayed in his arms.
"I know, and I'm sorry."
She looked up at him, and poked his dimple with her finger.
