Im what?

Ch. 16

"Lexie" matt knocks on the door "it's open" is all I say "well at least I know you aren't bawling your eyes out over this carter situation" he says as he sits on my bed, I scoff "what did you want Matthew? I'm trying to finish this song and I need to make a YouTube video" I say a little to rude "watch the attitude! And I came to say mom and dad are here" matt says "great. So what? Do you want me to lie and say everything is perfectly fine? That I'm happy?" I say "well Yea" he says in a duh tone "well I'm sorry but I can't lie, because nobody knows what I'm feeling, and you can't act like you do! You barely know me." Is all I say before I go greet my parents "hey mom, hi dad" I say and hug them "hey sweetie" my dad says "do you know what's wrong with carter? He's been sitting there zoned out for awhile now" mom whispers in my ear "yea" I say and look down "go talk to him" mom said as matt comes into view, I nod and sit by carter "hey" I say, he just looks at me then looks away "come on you have to talk to me" I say "I don't have to do anything" he says coldly "I don't know what your problem is carter" I say slightly annoyed "the problem is that you remember almost everything and you didn't think it was important to tell me last night when we were talking!" He said finally looking at me "I-I" i stutter "exactly" he says and get up and walks away "carter!" I say going after him but matt stops me by grabbing my arm "let him go" he says. "That's low, even for you Matthew." I say coldly and yank my arm away from him. "Lexie Anastasia Espinosa. That is no way to talk to your brother!" My mom scolds "that's not fair! He's the reason carters mad at me." I say "why would Matthew be the reason for this?" Mom questions. Matthew looks at me like 'don't say anything' and I roll my eyes "because he said his friends are off limits, that they weren't my friends, that I had to break up with carter!" I say. "I just can't do this anymore! I can't fake it!" I say and sit on the couch. "We need to talk we will be back later" mom and dad said and they left. "See what you did!" Matt yells "just shut up! Shut up god damn it!" I yell back by now everyone is watching me and Matthew "why should I be the one to shut up?! You're the one starting all these problems! You're so fucking problematic lexie! Why can't you follow any rules?!" Matt yells back "fine I'll follow the rule you would absolutely love right now, and you've wanted since I got here" I say holding back my tears "to leave my friends alone? God I would love that" matt says now calming down "no, to leave everyone including you alone forever." I say with tears now falling down my face and walk to my room. "Forever" I whisper and lock my door, now totally breaking down.

*loxs pov*
"What the heck was that about Matthew?" I ask "she said I was ruining her life. I haven't done anything to her." He replies "you haven't done anything? Mmm are you sure?" I say "yes I'm sure" matt says "okay so making her stay away from your friends isn't doing anything? Making her break up with carter isn't anything? Okay then I guess you haven't done anything" I say and go to lexies door "lex?" I ask, no answer "lexie?" I ask knocking still no answer so I try to open the door. "Lexie?! Open the door please" I say now freaking out. Still no answer, so I go back to everyone "does someone have a key to her room? She won't answer me or open the door" I said almost in tears "check above her door frame" cam says looking more panicked than Matthew. I nod and find the key and open her door "lexie?" I say and I get no answer I check everywhere but she's nowhere to be seen. "Oh no this is bad, this is really bad" i say to myself as I find her phone. Please don't have a passcode. Damn it! "Matt call your parents!" I yell "why?" Matt asks "lexie isn't here she left her phone!" I yell back "s-she's gone?" Carter asks. I nod, there was a knock on the door and I go open it to see Mikey "um nows really not a good time" I say "but um lexie told me to come over" he says showing me the texts "she isn't here Mikey" I say "oh okay" he said and walked away.

*mikeys pov*
Why would she text me then? Lox had her phone, who would she call.. Bryce! I decide to call Bryce
B:"hello" I could hear sniffing in the background
M: have you seen lexie?
B: yea she's with me... don't tell the guys.
M: don't worry I won't just as long as she's safe.
I hung up and when to Bryce's house.

*matts pov*
"Call your parents Matthew" lox says "lexie does this all the time she will be back later" I say like it's no big deal "god you're so heartless" Shawn whispers. "Excuse me?" I say "I said your heartless!" Shawn said and went into lexies room and came out with her camera "what are you doing?" I ask "showing you what's wrong with your sister you don't care about" Shawn says and opens a file off the memory card labeled 'the truth' "what's the point of this?" I ask "just shut up and watch the damn videos" Shawn said mad. He never gets this mad, we went through many videos and I found out how broken lexie is and how she fought depression and how she self harmed and how she was clean but the last video it got me it was her self harming again, I need to know when this was recorded... but damn I felt like a total dick.

*3 hours later*
*lexies pov*
I'm outside the house, I don't want to go in but I have to. I open the door and everyone turns and looks at me. I am bombarded by things like "where were you?!" "Why did you leave?" I don't answer to anyone. "Why aren't you talking to anyone?" Matt asks and i just look at him and don't answer "lexie why aren't you answering?" He asks again. "I told you I was going to leave you guys alone forever" I say quietly "no dont do that, I was wrong, don't self harm anymore please stop for us" he said and my eyes widen 'they weren't supposed to know' I think to myself. I look around the room and see my camera connected to the tv. "What are you doing with this?! This is invasion of my privacy." I say as I grab my camera and start walking off. But carter grabs my arm and I wince in pain, carter notices and pulls up my sleeve. I pull arm away and put my sleeve down. "I need to record a video. Excuse me" I said and went to my room. And for my video I decided to do one of my songs. I call this one 'couple of kids' (above) I finished editing it and uploaded it, i played it while I drifted off to sleep.