BRAVADO - Larry ✔️

23. You don't have to pretend anymore

My heart pounded in my chest as I walked briskly down the hallway. Heading straight to Louis' room where I knew he wouldn't be there until a few hours. He was probably in his office but I refused to cause a scene down there. I rather cause it in the quiet where no one could hear us and I could say what I wanted to say without him calling his fucking soldiers to detain me.

I was furious. I was trembling with anger now, before I was afraid. Afraid of when he could have me feeling so secure and then come out of nowhere and hurt me again, maybe this time getting someone else to do it. He's keeping me in the lull, the loop however. Not knowing what to do with me and being sweet to me until then.

I was pissed and slightly heartbroken by it all.

I pushed open his door and slammed it shut, turning around at the empty room with dark eyes. I stormed over to the bed and sat down facing the doorway. Waiting for when he would return.

--

I looked up at the door when I heard footsteps coming down the hallway, my anger seeping back in as I took in a breath but I looked back down letting it out trying to relax. I wasn't going to explode. I felt more betrayed than anything.

"Hey there." Louis popped his head in smiling when he saw me and closed the door. He frowned when I didn't look up or respond. Coming closer to me.

"How was your-"

Before he gets close to me I stand up, eyes tearing as I look at him. My hand coming up to slap him across the face.

His head goes to the side with the force of the impact, shocked as he brings his hand up to hold his red and stinging cheek.

"Ow." He says as he looks at me slightly hurt before taking in my furious expression. His face hardens.

"You tried to kill me the other day." I speak calmly but making sure the warning is there in my voice, letting him know I was pissed.

"I-" Louis blinks at me. "Yes." He says, being honest with me and an angry tear falls from my eye as I glare at him.

"You can kill people with a touch to their chest. I thought when you said you wanted to kill me you were going to take out a weapon and do it like any normal person. I thought when you said you couldn't kill me it was because there was a part of you that knew it was wrong, that you couldn't bring yourself to hurt me." I shake my head at him in disgust.

"You were going to kill me anyway. When you found out you physically couldn't, you panicked and started being sweet to me. Reeling me in and making me feel safe."

"Listen to me. I thought you knew!-"

"I didn't! I thought the rumours were lies!" I scream at him making him flinch back. "You lied to me!"

I bring my hand up to slap him again but he stops me, grabbing my wrist. I use my skills from training on him, grabbing his arm and twisting it making him cry out as he lets me go.

He looks at me in frustration and goes to grab me again and this time I reach behind my back to where I had tucked the scalpel that I stole and pull it out. I point it at him as my breathing increases.

He stops suddenly, holding his hands up as he looks at the weapon before turning to me. A pained look taking over his features. 

"Put it down love." He states calmly and I pierce my lips as I look at him, tears falling as he sighs.

"What are you doing Harry? You're going to kill me? And then what? My soldiers will catch you if you try to escape. They'll know you did this. You're the only one who has access to my room." Louis states seriously as his eyes find mine.

"Might as well do it before you do. You've tried before, you're gonna tell me you won't do it again?" I ask him, my hands shaking as I point the small knife at him. His face falls as he hears this.

I don't trust him anymore, I can't. There's too many mistakes between us. It's gotten too complicated.

"Or maybe you'll get one of your soldiers to do it for you, since you can't." I sob at that walking backwards until the back of my knees come into contact with the sheets of the bed.

Louis looks at me, hurt written across his face and I cry out at that.

"Stop pretending that this is affecting you-"

"I'm not pretending. It's hurting me to see you like this." Louis cuts me off, his voice raising as he looks at me in frustration as he wants me to understand.

"I can feel it all now, with you. It's overwhelming." He breaths out taking a tentative step closer to me. He curses under his breath. "You hurt me so fucking much dammit."

I shake my head at him in disbelief.

"You don't understand how I'm feeling right now. You have no idea how much emotional and physical pain you cause me." I state letting the knife fall to my side as I let out a breath, looking at him with sad eyes.

"And I can't take it anymore. I can't." I whisper brokenly as concern washes over his features before his eyes widen when he notices me bringing the scalpel up to my neck.

"No Harry!" He shouts lunging forward and taking the knife, wrestling it from my fingers. I cry out when he manages to grasp the knife. He steps back holding it as he pants at me wide eyed, not believing I was about to do what I was about to do.

I look up at him with fresh tears streaming down my face. Feeling utterly weak and tired of everything.

"Just do it. You don't have to pretend anymore." I sob as I look at him, my face falling as he looks down at me angrily before his face changes. He looks down at the knife in his hands before letting it fall from his grip, kicking it over to the corner of the room and under the wardrobe where it couldn't be accessed.

"You're right." He states with tears in his eyes as he looks at me. "I don't want to pretend anymore." He says.

I cry out as he comes closer to me in fear but he ignores me as his hand comes around the middle of my back pulling me closer to him, crashing his lips against mine.

I fight him at first, trying to push him away and feebly hit his chest but he holds me closer, not letting me go and I melt into his kiss, feeling the passion and love he's putting into it. Everything he's trying to say coming out through the kiss. Our lips move together in sync and when I finally relax into his touch, he breaks away from the kiss, panting softly as his head rests against my forehead looking down at me.

"I love you, Harry."

**

Omf thoughts?