Chapter Eighteen

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IMPORTANT AN - I have been asked if there will be 'cutting' in this. There definitely will be no self harm at all. It probably is the worst kind of triggering and I do not want to be held responsible for that. I'm sorry if you wanted that level of angst, but no.

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        I walked through the doors that have been taunting me for the past ten minutes. My first day dealing without having him by my side. I walked to my locker so slowly that I got told to move a few times. Everything in this school is mocking me and it’s terrible.

"How are you?" I looked over and met eyes with Kourtney. I didn't even try to smile this time because in all honesty, what the hell is the point anymore?

"Not so great." I replied. She wrapped her tiny arms around me and patted my back.

"I don't think they are for him either, Marce. I'm here if you need me." She pulled away and waited for me to grab the rest of my stuff before we headed to first class.

*AFTER LAST BELL*

        I haven't seen Niall or Leeroy at all today, which was really weird. They weren't in any of our classes. Right when I thought about them, they popped into my view. I walked over to them and they jumped and looked around quickly.

"Shit, I thought you were someone else." I looked at Niall in confusion until recognition crept into my thoughts.

"Sorry, you're not outed today." I scoffed. I rolled my eyes at how these two actually were.

"Are you feeling any better today?" Leeroy asked with sad eyes.

"No, I'm not."

"I think I should, ugh, go. I don't know where Zayn is right now." Niall spoke up. For the reason to just freak out today, those words ticked me off.

"Are you serious?" I asked. "Why are you so scared to be with him? He is here with you and you should appreciate that while it lasts! Because you never know, one day he could just be gone and leaving you here all alone and what do you have to say for it? Oh, we snuck around behind everyone's back because I'm ashamed of him. Grow up. At least he's still sticking around and is right in front of you." After that spiel, I took off down the large halls. I screamed in frustration as everything from the past few days came shooting at me. I turned and hit the only thing available at that second - a locker. I cried out in pain and ran the rest of the way home.

        I rushed through the door with tears once again falling from my eyes. I walked to the kitchen and stuck my bleeding hand into the flowing water from the faucet. It was shaking and I was trying to figure out why I actually just did that. I have never done anything so idiotic in my entire life and now?

"Why are you bleeding?" I jumped and turned to face my so called mother.

"I fell." I mumbled.

"Of course you did." She looked from me to my hand. "Are you alright?"

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